How to win the emotional battle of procrastination

Procrastination is the absence of progress.

Everyone makes New Year’s resolutions. But only 8% of will succeed. The rest will get caught in the gap between intention and action.

Procrastination is the illusion of a quick-win — you compromise long-term success for short-term pleasure. If you are reading this, you probably spend too much time daydreaming — you fail to launch.

Most people can’t overcome procrastination because they treat it as a productivity problem — they forget the real battleground is in your mind, not your calendar.

Procrastination has nothing to do with time-management. As Joseph Ferrari, a professor of psychology at DePaul University explains, “To tell the chronic procrastinator to just do it would be like saying to a clinically depressed person, cheer up.”

What if you approach procrastination as an emotional battle rather than a productivity one?

Why we fail to launch

We all procrastinate — we voluntary delay doing activities we want despite the negative consequences. But not everyone suffers from it.

Approximately 80% of students and 25% of adults admit to being chronic procrastinators, according to research — and it’s getting worse.

Procrastination is a self-inflicted wound — we feel good now at the expense of long-term goals. It has nothing to do with being lazy or having a personality problem — we just can’t win the emotional battle in our mind.

During times of stress, procrastination kicks in as an effortless coping mechanism. However, it’s anything but harmless.

As Tim Pychyl, the author of Solving the Procrastination Puzzle, explains: “We have a brain that is selected for preferring immediate reward. Procrastination is the present-self saying I would rather feel good now. So we delay engagement even though it’s going to bite us on the butt.”

According to research by DePaul University, we procrastinate when our brains become overwhelmed with conflicting emotions. Our feelings take over.

  • Fear of failure: we worry the outcome won’t be perfect.
  • Impulsiveness: we get distracted by sexier activities that pop up while we are about to launch.
  • Denial: we don’t like doing certain things, so we erase them from our mind.
  • Rebelliousness: when we feel forced to do something, we just fight back and resist.

Several studies have shown that negative emotions promote procrastination. People avoid doing things more when they are sad or upset — the pleasantness of any distraction helps regulate our feelings.

Procrastination means we fail to manage our emotions, not our time.

Procrastination is a vicious cycle

“Only put off until tomorrow what you are willing to die having left undone.” — Pablo Picasso

The more you fail to launch, the more difficult it becomes to start something new. Continuous postponing doing something creates a vicious cycle.

One of the first studies about the harmful nature of procrastination tracked academic performance, stress, and overall health among college students throughout a semester. Originally, the procrastinators showed a lower level of stress. At the end of the research, not only their became more stressful but earned lower grades. True procrastinators didn’t just finish their work later — the quality of it suffered.

“Thus, despite its apologists and its short-term benefits, procrastination cannot be regarded as either adaptive or innocuous,” concluded the study authors.

Failing to cope with our emotions cause us more harm — the stress of starting something is nothing compared to the aftermath of avoiding a task.

A study by Harvard University showed that, when people are daydreaming about something pleasant, it only makes them as happy as when they are on task. The rest of the time, mind-wandering makes people less happy than when they are on the job.

The emotional battle affects our relationship with doing. We don’t just procrastinate what we like but even the things we love. The vicious cycle makes us hate doing anything.

We must reframe our emotional connection with work. That requires shifting our inner-dialogue from “have to” to “want to.”

Procrastination is an emotional battle

“The chronic procrastinator, the person who does this as a lifestyle, would rather have other people think that they lack effort than lacking ability.” — Joseph Ferrari

We all experience negative and positive emotions each day. Guilt, self-blame, frustration, sadness, or self-pity can make us feel overwhelmed. Emotion Regulation is a term coined to describe our ability to cope with our emotional experience — some strategies are healthier than others.

Research makes it clear that procrastination is a problem with emotional regulation — instead of dealing with our feelings, we avoid doing a task because of how we feel. This turns into a self-defeating strategy. Our emotions won’t run away — we just add more stress as we watch our to-do list piling up.

“Emotional regulation, to me, is the real story around procrastination, because to the extent that I can deal with my emotions, I can stay on task,” says Pychyl.

Avoidance acts as a short-term mood fix. We escape facing our fears, anxiety, or frustrations, but then feel worse with ourselves. Deep inside, we know procrastination is not an accident, but a personal choice.

So, how can we overcome this emotional tension?

Start by treating yourself kindly — playing the blame game doesn’t help.

To win the mental battle, we must apply emotion-focused strategies. Self-appreciation builds a stronger foundation to help us grow and overcome our flaws.

Unforgiveness gets us stuck in continuous rumination. A study conducted by Tim Pychyl showed that students who forgave themselves after procrastinating on the first exam were less likely to delay studying for the second one. Those who couldn’t forget themselves failed to study again.

Self-forgiveness is a powerful remedy for procrastination.

Don’t run against the wind

Self-awareness is essential to win the emotional battle in your head.

Start by facing the enemy rather than by being harsh on yourself — stress fuels procrastination. Ask yourself: “Why am I avoiding doing something? Why do I hate this task?”

Fighting your emotions is like running against the wind.

Being aware of what you are thinking — ‘meta-awareness’ — will help you develop a reflective approach to procrastination. Instead of avoiding or amplifying your emotions, try to understand them.

Systematic training of Emotional Regulation — to tolerate and modify aversive emotions — can help you reduce procrastination. Developing ER skills includes:

  • Becoming aware of your emotions
  • Identifying and taming your emotions
  • Understanding what triggers those feelings
  • Acknowledging negative emotions and turning them into positive ones
  • Supporting yourself

Practicing mindfulness throughout the day, journaling, daily gratitude, breathing exercises, or meditation can help you increase self-awareness. The key is to pause and reflect on what emotions are getting on your way.

How do you feel? Are you procrastinating because you are afraid of failing or because you are under external pressure? What’s holding you back?

Increasing self-awareness takes time. We spent years perfecting our procrastinating act — now we must undo it. Be patient.

Launch now

“You don’t have to be great to get started but you have to get started to be great.”  ― Les Brown

Procrastination is an emotion-management problem — you must reframe how you engage with your feelings. Experts are confident that learning to regulate your emotions can help procrastinators overcome avoidance.

Fuschia Sirois from Bishop’s University believes the best way to rebuild that relationship is to find something worthwhile in the activity or task.

“You’ve got to dig a little deeper and find some personal meaning in that task,” the psychologist recommends. “That’s what our data is suggesting.”

Self-awareness is key, but too much introspection can get you stuck. Jump into action — procrastinators find it difficult to take the first step.

The best way to overcome procrastination is to launch now.

Open that book. Write that first word. Dial that number. Ask the first question. Start practicing.

Cross the line. Chop up tasks into smaller ones. Create internal deadlines. Own your priorities. Start with what you hate. Or what you love. Mix up things. Build momentum.

Facing your emotions is key to jump into action. Go fight the battle in your mind.

Gustavo Razzetti is a change instigator that helps organizations lead positive change. Author, Consultant, and Speaker on team development and cultural transformation.

This article first appeared on Medium.

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jobs that will pay you to travel around the world"},"content":{"rendered":"

Many people say they love traveling but struggle in finding a sustainable way to do it. Due to those demanding 9-5 job commitments, they may only get the chance to travel on a foreign holiday once or twice a year; then itu2019s likely time sensitive, dictated by factors like annual leave or affordability. You need money to do all you might want to do, after all. But what if there were ways to travel while earning at the same time?

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Well, there are, and some are more unique than you might think. Here are 7 jobs that will pay you to travel the world:

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1. Work on a Cruise Ship

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Cruisesu00a0are genuinely regarded as a time of rest and recuperation; therefore they may not come immediately to mind as a place youu2019d like to work. However, a cruise is also a vessel to every continent of the world (even Antarctica is becoming an increasingly popular choice among travelers!). Furthermore, the options for work are vast. Whether your strengths are in retail, cooking, hosting, dancing, as a waiter or bartender, there is a range of opportunities on board a cruise ship, not least of which is the chance to travel the worldu2019s oceans.

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2. Become a Tour Guide

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If youu2019re passionate about working on the ground and enjoy learning about other cultures,u00a0a tour guide positionu00a0may be perfect for you. Of course, wherever you choose, a minimum requirement for this would be that you could actually see yourself living there for a decent period of time. For that reason itu2019s recommended that you only consider tour guiding after already living in a certain place for a little while; not only will this help you decide whether you like it but youu2019ll pick up key facts and knowledge about the location along the way. Being a quick learner and good at public speaking are also great attributes for a successful tour guide to have.

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3. Bartending

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If youu2019re preparing for tour guiding or another long-term travel goal but need something to help you get by in the meantime, serving drinks in a bar is as good an option as any. You get to share stories with the locals and may even pick up some of their quirky mannerisms along the way. This is the kind of job you can find almost anywhere, even in smaller towns, and one that you donu2019t need any qualifications for. Obviously, youu2019ll need to be good with people, though if youu2019re passionate about traveling you probably love meeting new people anyway.

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4. Truck Driving

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Not everyone is a u2018people personu2019 of course; you may be more of an introvert, cut out for a job that involves long periods working alone. In that case driving a truck cross country might be ideal. This is another in-demand role that youu2019ll be able to pick up anywhere providing you have the correct driving license requirements. Truck driving to some will seem dull but it is a seriously great way to enjoy the environment of any country; itu2019s only through driving long-distance that you truly appreciate the scale of the land youu2019re traveling.

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5. Charity Work

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If you care about people and countries that are less well off, there are numerous charities that will offer you the opportunity to travel in exchange for hands-on work on the ground. Obviously, this is a somewhat less glamorous option that probably wonu2019t pay as well as you might like, but the important thing is that youu2019d be doing something you care about, seeing the world and helping others along the way. Many people find that charity work gives them experiences theyu2019ll remember for a lifetime.

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6. Teach English as a Foreign Language

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Another way you can feel like youu2019re doing something to help others is becoming a TEFL teacher. This is a highly in-demand role due to English being such a popular global language. Itu2019s not a difficult role to get into either. You donu2019t necessarily need to know the local language in most cases, though picking up a few words alongside a little cultural knowledge is nonetheless always helpful. You will need a TEFL certification, but there are plenty ofu00a0TEFL training programs you can takeu00a0without too much trouble. Plus, there are few jobs more rewarding in general than teaching.

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7. Travel Blogging

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Quite literally one of the jobs you can do traveling is travel blogging. To start making proper money from this youu2019ll need a decent amount of followers and social media knowledge to promote your material, as well as some writing skill, an eye for photography if you want to have more of a photo-based blog, or video production skills if youu2019d prefer video blogging. Even if this doesnu2019t turn out to be financially viable long-term, it could still beu00a0a great hobbyu00a0that helps document your travel experiences to look back on later.

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These are just some ideas for jobs that will pay you to travel the world, but there are endless possibilities out there for those wanting to craft their own experiences. Use these as your catalyst to discover your own unique path across the world.

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This article first appeared on YourCoffeeBreak.

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Many people say they love traveling but struggle in finding a sustainable way to do it. Due to those demanding 9-5 job commitments, they may only get the chance to travel on a foreign holiday once or twice a year; then itu2019s likely time sensitive, dictated by factors like annual leave or affordability. You need …

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Photo: Jordan Madrid

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resume: [{"id":59659,"date":"2018-12-10T05:39:58","date_gmt":"2018-12-10T10:39:58","guid":{"rendered":"/?p=59659"},"modified":"2018-12-14T09:46:15","modified_gmt":"2018-12-14T14:46:15","slug":"7-ceos-on-what-they-notice-the-most-on-job-interviews","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"/career-advice/7-ceos-on-what-they-notice-the-most-on-job-interviews/","title":{"rendered":"7 executives on what they notice the most on job interviews"},"content":{"rendered":"

Letu2019s be honest: Thereu2019s tons of advice out there about best practices for interviews. From what you should (and shouldnu2019t) wear to the most strategic ways to prepare, everyone aims to perform at their highest professional level when theyu2019re going for a gig they really want.

n

Once you make it through the first couple of rounds, youu2019re often sent straight to the top, where the CEO will make or break your invitation to join the company. This can be even more nerve-racking since you hope to impress your could-be manager or bossu2019s boss. The most effective way to set yourself up for success u2014 and earn that offer letter u2014 is to take it straight from influential leaders themselves.

n

Here, CEOS who have interviewed hundreds to thousands of applicants shed insight on what catches their attention in an interview:

n

How you greet them u2014 and leave them

n

CEO and co-inventor of the Electronic Alchemy Dr. Chance Glenn says heu2019s not too concerned with appearances, as he is with personality. This starts from the second you walk through the door: How do you greet the people you meet?

n

u201cThe body language, the confidence, the level of charisma demonstrated. This is an indication of how successful this potential employee will have within a team environment, as well as their ability to move upwards within the organization,u201d he explains.

n

And it isnu2019t only about the foot you start off on, but the one you end on, according to Dr. Glenn. Itu2019s important to him that when you exit the interview, heu2019s impressed. u201cLeave the interviewer with something that makes them go u2018hmmm!u2019,u201d he adds.

n

How passionate you are

n

You hear this keyword a lot when people talk about a career they adore u2014 but what is often forgotten is the actual definition of it. The CEO of Amobee, Kim Perell explains “passion” derives from the Latin root for pain. In other words: someone must be so ignited by something they are willing to suffer for it. This pushes them to go above and beyond to be accomplished.

n

u201cPassion is the top quality I look for in individuals that I interview, because it often translates into hard work, innovation, and loyalty,u201d she continues. u201cPassion is what drives you through times of challenge and allows you to thrive despite adversity and a dynamic environment such as adtech where change is the only constant. Disruption creates enormous opportunity.u201d

n

How self-aware and flexible you are

n

Most of the time, the ability to be constructively critical of yourself comes with age and experience. But this skill set is a top priority for many executives, including the president and founder of Notion Consulting, Christine Andrukonis. When you are confident in yourself and understand your own struggles, you innately become more adaptable, too.

n

u201cTo be successful, candidates need to be able to maximize their strengths, address their development needs and do it with confidence. We live in an increasingly dynamic world, and professionals really need to be able to have a vision and a point of view but also be able to adjust and adapt that perspective to address each specific situation,u201d she explains.

n

How respectful you are

n

Youu2019ve been instructed to mind your Pu2019s-and-Qu2019s from the time you could speak u2014 and the Golden Rule is forever trendy. The CEO of Globoforce Eric Mosley explains he values a personu2019s ability to respect not only others, but themselves, too. u201cIn a workplace full of humans, respect is the first step toward social connection and the highest levels of collaboration among colleagues,u201d he continues.

n

The first test happens before you open your mouth to introduce yourself, Mosley shares. It begins with being on time and fully prepared for the interview.

n

u201cIf a person doesnu2019t have enough self-respect to position themselves for a successful meeting by being on time, informed about the company and position for which theyu2019re applying, can you really expect theyu2019ll operate with the utmost respect for their work or their colleagues?u201d he shares.

n

How comfortable you are

n

In your own skin, in the room, in your ability to perform the job at stake. A strong u2014 yet humble u2014 sense of self goes a long way in the interviewing process, according to the founder of hello products, Craig Dubitsky. Itu2019s a fine line between confidence and arrogance, but he notes u2018comfortableu2019 signals a deeper understanding and appreciation for what the candidate can offer.

n

u201cThey canu2019t feel truly comfortable unless theyu2019ve done some research on the company, what they feel the company needs, and how they are just the right person to bring the magic. If they arenu2019t really sure, theyu2019ll never feel comfortable, and then theyu2019re likely not the easiest, smoothest fit,u201d he continues.

n

Another aspect of wearing your resume well is in the same advice youu2019d hear before going on a first date: make eye contact. Dubitsky says this is a clear sign of connection and ease. u201cIf they feel comfortable with themselves, their abilities, their purpose that their potential fit, they want to engage. And the easiest, quickest way is to look someone in the eyes, and really engage,u201d he shares.

n

How you answer the “whatu2019s your weakness?” question

n

It inevitably will come up more than likely u2014 but are you prepared to answer this tried-and-true inquiry. You better be if you want to get on the CEO of 100% Pure Ric Kosticku2019s good side. This means not giving a cop-out answer, but actually digging deep and being honest.

n

u201cIf asked about their biggest weakness, an answer might be u2018I work too hard that I forget to take time for myselfu2019 or u2018u2019I get into the details too much.u2019 If a candidate cannot find or admit fault within themselves, they will also not be as receptive to criticism on the job,u201d he explains. u201cI’m not looking for a perfect person. I’m looking for a person that will take risk, make mistakes, and be open to constructive criticism to help them grow. A humble person will truly speak to a real weakness.u201d

n

How specific you are

n

While being able to provide succinct yet thoughtful answers is important, the CEO of Care/of, Craig Elbert stresses the importance of details. He doesnu2019t only want to know what youu2019ve done from a high level, but the nitty-gritty steps you took to move numbers.

n

u201cI notice when candidates speak to specific things theyu2019ve done to execute and actually achieve objectives, rather than just describing theoretical approaches and best practices,u201d he continues. u201cThere are a lot of smart people out there who know all the answers, but have they actually been able to go out and motivate people to do the work? I want to see them really dig into the minutia of a project in a way that shows they were clearly involved in the results.u201d

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The most effective way to set yourself up for success u2014 and earn that offer letter u2014 is to take it straight from influential leaders themselves.

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are taking over company job interviews"},"content":{"rendered":"

The future has arrived: Robots are now smart enough to judge us. And because some employers have decided that technology is the solution to their recruiting problems, Americans are starting to field generic job questions posed to them by u201cno one.u201d

n

These artificial intelligence and recorded interviews have a lot of positives. They circumvent traditional human limitations such as work hours so interviewees can schedule an interview at their convenience. And when programmed correctly, AI can weed out some of the implicit biases that recruiters have, meaning that companies can recruit a more diverse labor force.

n

But according to potential candidates, the new interview techniques also have major downsides. It seems across the age spectrum, people find one-sided interviews to be cold, odd and difficult to ace.

n

Why itu2019s happening

n

The U.S. labor market is facing a shortage of qualified candidates for many industries, and a low unemployment rate means there are fewer people actively searching for opportunities. In this environment, companies have identified the need for speed to recruit the best people for their offices.

n

But businesses are not only looking for great candidates; theyu2019re also eager to diversify their workforce. LinkedInu2019s 2018 Global Recruiting Trends report found that u201cdiversityu201d was the top trend shaping the future of recruiting and hiring. Reasons for the trend include improving culture and company performance and better-representing customers.

n

With these aims in mind, companies are looking for technology to streamline their application processes while getting rid of implicit biases that often hurt more diverse candidates. One company has experienced u201ca 5- to 7-day improvement in the time it takes candidates to complete a phone interviewu201d after implementing on-demand voice interviews, according to The Wall Street Journal. Thatu2019s likely because applicants can choose any time for their interview and are not subject to the same confines of having to speak with a hiring manager during office hours.

n

Robots are also more inclined to give a less traditional candidate a chance if theyu2019re right for the job. They do not step into the same pitfalls as humans, who can sometimes judge applicants on their attractiveness, the way they dress, shared interests or connections and other factors.

n

But even robots are not perfectly impartial; after all, people create them. Amazon reportedly had to retire an AI recruiting system in 2015 because the bot was giving women lower scores than their male counterparts after being programmed to identify candidates similar to Amazonu2019s mostly male hot shots.

n

So while the new technology may make the recruiting process more efficient and give hiring managers more time to complete important work, it also has its downsides. And thatu2019s before considering the impact on the people who are now being interviewed by robots.

n

The reaction

n

It turns out that not everyoneu2019s on board with having their application processed by a non-human.

n

u201cItu2019s highly impersonal,u201d Jeremy Maffei, 42, told the Wall Street Journal. He said during his automated interview, he u201cblanked outu201d and had no way to know whether his answers were resonating.

n

23-year-old Eden Hoffman was asked to do a video interview with a robot that scored her responses through an algorithm.

n

u201cIt was very unnatural,u201d Hoffman told the New York Post. u201cIu2019m a big people person; when Iu2019m in front of someone, Iu2019m using my hands and making eye contact. Itu2019s awkward when youu2019re just doing that for yourself.u201d

n

When Darlene Racinelli had an automated phone interview, she hung up before it was over.u00a0u201cI hit 9 and just ended it,u201d Racinelli told the Journal.

n

No one knows if new technologies will be the long-term solutions to companiesu2019 fraught recruiting processes, or if they will go out of fashion as candidates complain about how u201cimpersonalu201d and u201cunnaturalu201d they are. But for now, they have become part of the job interview process, and itu2019s time to be ready for a call from a robot.

n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Robots do not step into the same pitfalls as humans, who can judge applicants on attractiveness, the way they dress, shared interests or other factors.

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Alexandra Villarreal is a reporter for Ladders in Manhattan. Her byline has appeared in The Associated Press, The Guardian, NBCu2019s Owned Television Stations, The Philadelphia Inquirer, The New York Times and other publications. She looks forward to your messages at avillarreal@theladders.com.

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10 toughest majors for finding jobs after college for 2018"},"content":{"rendered":"

So you are trying to decide which degree to pursue in college, but you are unsure which degrees actually land jobs. Donu2019t worry, many students are asking the same question.

n

When you finally get to choose your own education, it can be daunting by the hundreds of choices available at most colleges and universities. Should you pursue architecture,u00a0engineering, secondary education, art and dance,u00a0political science, pre-med, oru00a0business? What about the lesser-known degrees like forestry preservation and art restoration?

n

No matter what your interests are, you are probably wondering if your passions can also lead to a job that wonu2019t make you struggling to pay bills for the rest of your life.

n

Atu00a0Zippia, we are here to help you figure out the answers to those questions. So which majors actually have the highest unemployment rate?

n

    n

  1. Library Science
  2. n

  3. Metallurgical Engineering
  4. n

  5. Nuclear Engineering
  6. n

  7. Industrial Production Technologies
  8. n

  9. General Social Sciences
  10. n

  11. Geological And Geophysical Engineering
  12. n

  13. Interdisciplinary Social Sciences
  14. n

  15. Other Foreign Languages
  16. n

  17. Cosmetology Services And Culinary Arts
  18. n

  19. Studio Arts
  20. n

n

With the move to the internet for all of our information, itu2019s no shocker that the need for librarians is dwindling. Even the libraries are moving to more cloud-based services like OverDrive and Libby.

n

Seeingu00a0social sciencesu00a0andu00a0interdisciplinary studiesu00a0on our list is no surprise either, as these degrees are notorious for being difficult in the job market.

n

But what about degrees like metallurgical engineering? Actually, what even is metallurgical engineering? Read on to learn more about our top 10 majors with the highest unemployment rate.

n

How we determined the hardest majors to get a job after college

n

Using Census Data from PUMS, we looked at the total number of people who graduated with each particular major.

n

We only considered people ages 22 u2013 25 that were no longer in school u2014 you know, people right out of college looking for work.

n

Then using data for which of these people were employed versus unemployed, we came up with percentages for each majoru2019s unemployment level, which we then used to rank each major. The higher a major ranks on this list, the lower its employment rating.

n

Thatu2019s all u2014 pretty simple for this one. Below youu2019ll find a more complete breakdown of our top ten list, along with unemployment percentages for each major.

n

1. LIBRARY SCIENCES

n

Unemployment Rate:u00a011.77%
nWhen is the last time you have been to a library after you graduated college? You likely cannot recall a time. Unfortunately for librarians, tech advances have led to a decline in job opportunity.

n

Librarians have a nearly 12% unemployment rate. Thatu2019s a sorry figure for any recent graduate.

n

However, if you do happen to land a job as au00a0librarian, the pay isnu2019t that bad. According to the Bureau of Labor Statistics, library scientists make about $54k a year on average.

n

2. METALLURGICAL ENGINEERING

n

Unemployment Rate:u00a010.53%
nSo what is metallurgical engineering and why does it rank number two on our list?

n

Essentially, metallurgical engineering is the study ofu2026 metals. Engineers with this degree learn about mining, extraction, and processing of metals. Sounds important, right?

n

Computerization and mechanizing must be crushing this field, resulting in an unemployment rate of over 10% for degree holders in metallurgical engineering.

n

3. NUCLEAR ENGINEERING

n

Unemployment Rate:u00a010.11%
nLike metallurgical engineering, nuclear engineering is another super important sounding degree with a high unemployment rate.

n

You would think that with the depletion of fossil fuels and our increased dependence on nuclear energy, we would need nuclear engineers. But somehow they have a 10% unemployment rate.

n

Perhaps the coal industry wants to keep them out until the earth is really in a mega crisisu2013perhaps computers are taking over engineering jobs. Either way, these degree holders are in somewhat of a job pickle.

n

4. INDUSTRIAL PRODUCTION TECHNOLOGIES

n

Unemployment Rate:u00a08.24%
nIndividuals with a degree in Industrial Production Technologies help engineers and other professionals best utilize natural resources. Again, another degree that seems extremely needed as our natural resources are quickly being depleted.

n

Around 8% of degree holders in this specialty are unemployed. Not a good sign for our coal stores.

n

5. GENERAL SOCIAL SCIENCES

n

Unemployment Rate:u00a07.65%
nGeneral Social Sciencesu2013 quite possibly the vaguest degree category on our list. General Social Sciences is a degree that takes classes from several liberal arts specialties and combines it together.

n

Not bad if you want a well-rounded liberal arts education, but possibly a bad decision for your bank account.

n

6. GEOLOGICAL AND GEOPHYSICAL ENGINEERING

n

Unemployment Rate:u00a07.26%
nLike Industrial Production Technology and Metallurgical Engineering, this degree also is related to natural resourceu00a0management. A person with a degree in Geological and Geophysical Engineering is trained in the extraction of natural resources.

n

Again, quite a useful skill in a world where life as we know it is dependent on natural resource use. However, like the former degrees, this one also has a dismal employment outlook. Degree holders in Geological and Geophysical Engineering face a whopping 7% unemployment rate.

n

Perhaps a degree in technology related to renewable energy is the key?

n

7. INTERDISCIPLINARY SOCIAL SCIENCES

n

Unemployment Rate:u00a06.88%
nLike General Social Sciences, this degree pulls from several social science specialties. In theory, a degree that is interdisciplinary should produce more well-rounded students, but employers donu2019t seem to be too impressed.

n

Nearly 7% of graduates with degrees in Interdisciplinary Social Studies are unemployed. Perhaps doubling that with another major would have been a better decision career-wise?

n

8. FOREIGN LANGUAGES

n

Unemployment Rate:u00a06.22%
nNext up on our top 10 list of majors with the highest unemployment rate is foreign languages. Most students couple a foreign language degree with another, so what happens if you focus only on learning another language?

n

Apparently a hard time finding a job. People with a foreign language degree on its own face a 6% unemployment rate. Unfortunately, students who study foreign languages also often study social sciences so they may be out of luck in the job department.

n

9. COSMETOLOGY SERVICES AND CULINARY ARTS

n

Unemployment Rate:u00a05.91%
nInterestingly, our database couples degrees that allow you to study makeup with degrees that teach you how to make delicious food. Either way, these are degrees in the professional services sector.

n

Although many of us would probably gladly pay someone to make us amazing food, turns out there is not a huge job market for people with degrees in these fields. Nearly 6% of graduates with these degrees are unemployed.

n

10. STUDIO ARTS

n

Unemployment Rate: 5.88%
nLast but not least comes Studio Arts. Often when you hear people say they are going to study art, you hear the usual, u201cso how are you going to find a job?u201d

n

But interestingly, the degrees with the highest unemployment rates are those that seem like a career no-brainer. Weu2019re looking at you nuclear engineers.

n

While last on our list, professional artists still face a nearly 6% unemployment rate. That is two times better than those who have Library Sciences degrees, but still not the best.

n

Putting it all together

n

There you have it u2013 the top 10 majors with the highest unemployment rates. So what are degrees that have some of the best job outlooks?

n

Pharmacology, Military Technology, Teacher Education, and Transportation Engineers are some of the many degrees that have high employment rates. But that shouldnu2019t prevent you from pursuing a degree in art or the social sciences.

n

Perhaps you just need to double major if you want a better job potential.

n

Detailed ranking of the 100 hardest majors to get a job (with unemployment rate)

n

    n

  1. Library Science 11.78%
  2. n

  3. Metallurgical Engineering 10.53%
  4. n

  5. Nuclear Engineering 10.11%
  6. n

  7. Industrial Production Technologies 8.24%
  8. n

  9. General Social Sciences 7.66%
  10. n

  11. Geological And Geophysical Engineering 7.26%
  12. n

  13. Interdisciplinary Social Sciences 6.88%
  14. n

  15. Other Foreign Languages 6.23%
  16. n

  17. Cosmetology Services And Culinary Arts 5.91%
  18. n

  19. Studio Arts 5.88%
  20. n

  21. Visual And Performing Arts 5.36%
  22. n

  23. Electrical Engineering Technology 5.32%
  24. n

  25. Electrical, Mechanical, And Precision Technologies And 5.17%
  26. n

  27. Miscellaneous Social Sciences 5.14%
  28. n

  29. Environmental Science 5.09%
  30. n

  31. Science And Computer Teacher Education 4.9%
  32. n

  33. Fine Arts 4.87%
  34. n

  35. Public Policy 4.6%
  36. n

  37. Miscellaneous Fine Arts 4.52%
  38. n

  39. Public Administration 4.5%
  40. n

  41. Petroleum Engineering 4.29%
  42. n

  43. Area Ethnic And Civilization Studies 4.21%
  44. n

  45. Applied Mathematics 4.14%
  46. n

  47. Criminology 4.09%
  48. n

  49. Food Science 4.01%
  50. n

  51. Miscellaneous Engineering Technologies 3.97%
  52. n

  53. Oceanography 3.88%
  54. n

  55. Neuroscience 3.88%
  56. n

  57. Advertising And Public Relations 3.87%
  58. n

  59. Philosophy And Religious Studies 3.87%
  60. n

  61. Sociology 3.85%
  62. n

  63. Molecular Biology 3.81%
  64. n

  65. Social Psychology 3.8%
  66. n

  67. Atmospheric Sciences And Meteorology 3.74%
  68. n

  69. Drama And Theater Arts 3.69%
  70. n

  71. Miscellaneous Biology 3.65%
  72. n

  73. Health And Medical Preparatory Programs 3.57%
  74. n

  75. Composition And Rhetoric 3.56%
  76. n

  77. Health And Medical Administrative Services 3.53%
  78. n

  79. Naval Architecture And Marine Engineering 3.52%
  80. n

  81. Art And Music Education 3.46%
  82. n

  83. Ecology 3.44%
  84. n

  85. Actuarial Science 3.44%
  86. n

  87. History 3.43%
  88. n

  89. Geology And Earth Science 3.38%
  90. n

  91. Intercultural And International Studies 3.36%
  92. n

  93. General Medical And Health Services 3.35%
  94. n

  95. Political Science And Government 3.31%
  96. n

  97. Commercial Art And Graphic Design 3.28%
  98. n

  99. International Relations 3.27%
  100. n

  101. Liberal Arts 3.2%
  102. n

  103. Mass Media 3.2%
  104. n

  105. Film Video And Photographic Arts 3.19%
  106. n

  107. Nutrition Sciences 3.16%
  108. n

  109. Chemical Engineering 3.15%
  110. n

  111. Engineering Mechanics Physics And Science 3.12%
  112. n

  113. Information Sciences 3.09%
  114. n

  115. Computer Networking And Telecommunications 3.04%
  116. n

  117. Humanities 3.01%
  118. n

  119. English Language And Literature 2.99%
  120. n

  121. Anthropology And Archeology 2.98%
  122. n

  123. Linguistics And Comparative Language And Literature 2.95%
  124. n

  125. Journalism 2.94%
  126. n

  127. Secondary Teacher Education 2.89%
  128. n

  129. Soil Science 2.85%
  130. n

  131. Community And Public Health 2.84%
  132. n

  133. Communications 2.8%
  134. n

  135. Business Economics 2.74%
  136. n

  137. Architecture 2.73%
  138. n

  139. Microbiology 2.72%
  140. n

  141. Economics 2.7%
  142. n

  143. Art History And Criticism 2.66%
  144. n

  145. Psychology 2.65%
  146. n

  147. Electrical Engineering 2.64%
  148. n

  149. Hospitality Management 2.63%
  150. n

  151. Physical And Health Education Teaching 2.61%
  152. n

  153. Cognitive Science And Biopsychology 2.61%
  154. n

  155. International Business 2.6%
  156. n

  157. Materials Engineering And Materials Science 2.56%
  158. n

  159. Multi/Interdisciplinary Studies 2.56%
  160. n

  161. Physical Fitness Parks Recreation And Leisure 2.55%
  162. n

  163. French-German Latin And Other Common Foreign Language Studies 2.53%
  164. n

  165. Business Management And Administration 2.52%
  166. n

  167. Miscellaneous Business & Medical Administration 2.49%
  168. n

  169. Criminal Justice And Fire Protection 2.38%
  170. n

  171. Finance 2.37%
  172. n

  173. Family And Consumer Sciences 2.37%
  174. n

  175. Biology 2.35%
  176. n

  177. Theology And Religious Vocations 2.33%
  178. n

  179. Communication Technologies 2.33%
  180. n

  181. Miscellaneous Health Medical Professions 2.27%
  182. n

  183. Early Childhood Education 2.26%
  184. n

  185. Music 2.26%
  186. n

  187. Physiology 2.22%
  188. n

  189. Marketing And Marketing Research 2.22%
  190. n

  191. Biochemical Sciences 2.21%
  192. n

  193. Social Work 2.2%
  194. n

  195. Plant Science And Agronomy 2.16%
  196. n

  197. Statistics And Decision Science 2.15%
  198. n

  199. Forestry 2.11%
  200. n

n

This article first appeared on Zippia.

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interviews: [{"id":60903,"date":"2019-01-01T05:06:24","date_gmt":"2019-01-01T10:06:24","guid":{"rendered":"/?p=60903"},"modified":"2018-12-27T15:12:22","modified_gmt":"2018-12-27T20:12:22","slug":"using-the-science-of-good-timing-to-pass-the-test-get-the-job-and-live-a-meaningful-life","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"/career-advice/using-the-science-of-good-timing-to-pass-the-test-get-the-job-and-live-a-meaningful-life/","title":{"rendered":"Using the science of good timing to pass the test, get the job and live a meaningful life"},"content":{"rendered":"

One of the worldu2019s foremost thinkers on business and social science,u00a0Daniel Pinku00a0is the author of several groundbreaking books on work and behavior, including his most recent bestseller,u00a0When: The Scientific Secrets of Perfect Timing.u00a0Adam Grantu00a0is an organizational psychologist, the top-rated professor at Wharton, and the #1u00a0bestselling author ofu00a0Originals: How Non-Conformists Move the World. He recently hosted Danielu00a0in the latest installment of the Authors@Wharton Speaker Series, where the two discussed why good timing isnu2019t a mysterious art but a science that can be learnedu2014and perhaps even mastered.

n

Adam: Iu2019ve read a lot of how-to books, but [When] is the first when-to book Iu2019ve ever read. One part of the book made me really angry because you wrote that I should take naps. I hate napsu2014I always feel like a soggy piece of French toast afterward. Why should we take them?

n

Daniel: Well, thereu2019s a rich body of science showing that naps operate as Zambonis for our brain. Over the course of the day, we have all these nicks and scuffs on our mental ice, and naps smooth those out.

n

You seem to have a rigidly anti-nap ideology, but hereu2019s the thingu2014back in the day, I had the same view of naps as you did. When I would take a nap, I would wake up feeling bad and French toast-like. I would also wake up feeling deeply ashamed of myself, because I felt [like napping] was some kind of moral weakness.

n

What I discovered is that I was doing it wrong. There is a better way to nap. What the research tells us is that the best naps are really shortu201410 to 20 minutes long. Thatu2019s it. Beyond that is sleep inertiau2014what you describe as u201cFrench toastu201du2014where you sleep so long that you have to dig your way out of the negative effectu00a0before getting the positive effect. So super-short naps are the best.

n

The single best nap you can have, bang for the buck, is the following: I will sit in a chair, put on noise-canceling headphones, [and] put my feet on a little ottoman. Then, I will have a cup of coffee, down it pretty quickly. Then Iu2019ll set the timer on my phone for 25 minutes, and I will close my eyes.

n

Now, I can usually fall asleep in 10 to 12 minutes. Letu2019s say I fall asleep in 12 minutesu2014that gives me a nap of 13 minutes. Thatu2019s pretty good, actually; itu2019s in the 10 to 20-minute sweet spot.

n

But hereu2019s where it gets interesting. It takes about 25 minutes for caffeine to get into our bloodstream. So remember that coffee that I had? Just as Iu2019m waking upu2014minus the sleep inertiau2014I get that hit of caffeine; I get a double-whammy. Thatu2019s the scientifically ideal nap, and itu2019s called a u201cNappuccino.u201d I encourage you to take one.

n

Adam:u00a0I do like the way you describe it, [even though] I still canu2019t imagine waking up feeling refreshed.

n

So is there a u201cwhenu201d on naps? Is there a right time to take [one]?

n

Daniel: A lot of the research on the u201cwhenu201d of doing stuff gives us not u201cDo this at this particular time for this amount of time,u201d but broader design principles that we can apply to our life.

n

Basically, [people often go] through the day like this: a peak, a trough, and a recovery. Thatu2019s our pattern of mood, and also our pattern of performance in some intriguing ways. For 80% of us, our pattern goes up, it goes down, it goes back up again.

n

Now in the recovery stage, you see elevated mood and less vigilance. That makes it a good time for brainstorming, [and other] things where you want be a little bit looser. Weu2019ve all been in brainstorming sessions where someone is hypervigilant, saying, u201cThatu2019s a stupid idea, thatu2019s a stupid idea, thatu2019s a stupid idea.u201d [In the recovery stage], higher mood and less vigilance makes itu00a0a good time for creative work.

n

The research is telling us that we need to put a little more attention on [doing] the right work at the right time of day, because our cognitive abilities change throughout the dayu2014and they change in significant but predictable ways. If we do our analytic work during the peak, our administrative work during the trough, and our creative work during the recovery, we can do a little bit better. Thereu2019s research showing that time of day explains about 20% of the variance in how people perform on cognitive tasks. Thatu2019s a big deal.

n

Think about what else explains variance in how people performu2014some people are smarter than others. Some people are more conscientious than others. Some people have more advantages. But timingu2014thatu2019s something you can do something about.

n

Adam: You wrote about some standardized tests that are staggering.

n

Daniel: Itu2019s unbelievable. In Denmark, students take their standardized tests on computers, but the typical Danish school has more students than computers, so not everyone can take the test at the same time.

n

Two Danish researchers looked at two million standardized test scores in Denmark, and what they found is that students who take the test in the morning score [significantly better than] students who take the test in the afternoon. [In fact,] taking the test in the afternoon is equivalent to missing two weeks of school.

n

Itu2019s an u201cOh wowu201d [fact] for two reasons. One, we are making policy based on standardized tests, and thereu2019s such a heavy effect of time of day. [And two,] weu2019re making decisions about these kids based on their standardized test score, when [maybe they] had been randomly assigned [to take the test earlier or later in the day]. Itu2019s kind of terrifying.

n

Adam: Thereu2019s a bunch of people thinking, u201cHey, I wasted a lot of money on test prep. I couldu2019ve just shifted the hour of the day.u201d

n

Daniel: Not a bad idea. Iu2019m getting email from people who are taking certification exams saying, u201cWhen should I take it?u201d If you take a test in the morning, itu2019s not like youu2019re guaranteed to do well. But if youu2019re [a morning person] and you have a 10% chance of getting a great score, you can maybe dial it up to 13% if you take it in the morning. Itu2019s still an 87% chance youu2019re not gonna do well, but Iu2019ll take that jump from 10% to 13%. Itu2019s a 30% increase! Over time, those things really pay off.

n

Adam: We canu2019t always control the time that we get scheduled to take a test or interview for a job. But thereu2019s an interesting shift in the data with one group of students who take a test at the wrong time but still do better.

n

Daniel: Oh yeah, this is actually a remedy for a lot of what happens during that [daily] dip. If you give those kids a 20-30 minute break, and they run around the playground, their scores not only go back up, but go a little bit higher.

n

I was blown away by the research on breaks. And you can extend this into things like recess, where you have many school districts pulling back on recess in the name of raising standardized test scores, in fact, you might want to do the exact opposite.

n

Adam: Iu2019m curious, what are we supposed to be doing during our breaks? Adult recess?

n

Daniel: Thatu2019s not a terrible idea, actually. We should be taking more breaks, and the kinds of breaks we should be taking is one of those areas where it distills very nicely into some design principles.

n

Hereu2019s what we knowu2014number one: something is better than nothing. A one- or two-minute break is better than no break at all. The second thing is that moving is better than being stationary. Outside is better than inside. The research has been around for a whileu2014the replenishing effects of nature are just amazing.

n

This is a really interesting one: social is better than solo. Breaks with other people are more restorative than breaks on our own, even with introverts.

n

And then the [last] one: fully detached beats semi-detached. So you want to leave your phone behind, you want to not talk about worku2014you just want to detach. And in terms of length, it can be 10 or 15 minutes.

n

So there is a Platonic ideal: a ten-minute break with friends, walking around outside, leaving your phone behind, and talking about something other than work.

n

Adam: Shifting gears, I think thereu2019s some bigger questions about life decisions here. Growing up, my mom always told me that everything in life is timingu2014you can meet the same person but not fall in love with them if you met them at the wrong time.

n

And I hated hearing that, because it means that so much of our lives is out of our control. And yet youu2019re saying there are things that you can control. Like timing a job interview for exampleu2014could you talk to us about when itu2019s best to be the first candidate interviewed versus taking the last slot?

n

Daniel: On the first point, what your mother is talking about is essentially fortune, circumstance, lucku2014and thatu2019s a big factor in our lives. We donu2019t like thinking about that, we donu2019t like talking about the utter randomness of the things that happen to us. Itu2019s disturbing. But there are some things we can control.

n

Letu2019s talk about job interviewsu2014thereu2019s a sequence effect. Most jurisdictions [for voting] have randomized ballots, but thereu2019s a huge advantage of being first on a ballot. When else is it of value to go first? Itu2019s better to go first when you are not the default candidate.

n

A lot of times, decision makers have a default in their back pocket. For things that are kind of binaryu2014u201cyesu201d or u201cnou201du2014the default answer usually is u201cnou201d. If you go ask a boss for a raise, the default answer is u201cnou201du2014your boss has u201cnou201d in her back pocket. If youu2019re in sales and you ask somebody to buy something, the default answer is u201cnou201d. If you ask somebody out for a date, the default answer is u201cno.u201d

n

So when are people likely to overcome the default? Theyu2019re more likely to overcome the default earlier in the day than later. So if youu2019re first and youu2019re not the default candidate, you have a little bit of an edge.

n

If there arenu2019t that many candidates, going first has an advantage. If there are limited candidates and strong candidates, youu2019re also better off going first [because of] the Gambleru2019s Fallacy, which is saying, u201cI flipped a coin four times and it was heads, heads, heads, headsu2026 [The next time I flip,] it canu2019t [possibly] be heads again!u201d

n

The Gambleru2019s Fallacy in decision making is that somebody sees, u201cGreat candidate, great candidate, great candidateu2026 The fourth? Well, I canu2019t have four great candidates in a row, so Iu2019m actually going to mark down the fourth one.u201d [So amongst] a limited number of strong candidates, youu2019re better off going first.

n

If you are the default, youu2019re better off going toward the end. Because later in the day, in general, people will [lean] toward the default decision. Youu2019re also better off going last if there are a lot of candidates, [due to] the recency effect.

n

The thing that is probably most germane for real life is that if the decision makers are not totally clear on the criteria, youu2019re better off going later. Because a lot of decision makersu2014even in job interviewsu2014will use those first interviews to figure out what it is they want. So they basically use the other people to establish their criteria, and then you come along: u201cAh, thatu2019s what I was looking for!u201d

n

Those are some rules of thumb, and again, you need to recognize that youu2019re just turning the dial. Youu2019re increasing probability by a few points. But if you can increase your probability from 12% to 17% and you go on eight interviews, thatu2019s pretty good.

n

Adam: So [letu2019s say] Iu2019ve taken my first job out of college or MBA program, and then I have to decide when to leave that job. How do I decide when to quit?

n

Daniel: People are most likely to quit on the one-year, two-year, three-year anniversary of their job, these temporal markers.

n

At the most satisfying jobs, people have control, and theyu2019re challenging. So think about a job that is in your control but not challengingu2014youu2019re bored. Think about a job that is not in your control but is challengingu2014youu2019re going to burn out. Think about a job thatu2019s neitheru2014youu2019re just adrift. A job thatu2019s both in your control and challenging is a good job.

n

So project out to your anniversary and think, u201cWhich of these squares will I be in?u201d If you canu2019t get to [the right] square, then I think itu2019s time to consider leaving.

n

The other thing that comes out is the research on the salary benefits of switching jobs, which was surprising to me. Take two similarly situated people, Fred and Ed. They both graduated from college, theyu2019re the same level of ability, but Fred graduates in a recession, Ed graduates in a boom. That shows up in their wages literally 20 years lateru2014Fred is still behind. The unemployment rate when you graduate from college is a predictor of what your wages will be 20 years later, which is terrifying.

n

Why is this going on? What matters really is that Fred has far less mobility than Ed. Ed takes a job, and Ed is looking for the right match for his skills. You donu2019t usually get that right away, so you will often switch to figure out, u201cOh, this is what Iu2019m good at, this is what Iu2019m not good at.u201d Switch. u201cOh I stink at that, but Iu2019m pretty good at that.u201d Switch. That allows you to find the right work for your skills.

n

Also, within those changes is a pay increase. So Ed finds his way to the right match for his skills far earlier, which leads to the higher wages. Whereas Fred says, u201cThis is a terrible match. I want to leave, but the labor market is too muddyu2014I canu2019t do that. So Iu2019m going to stay at this job, then when the labor market finally tightens up, I can move.u201d Heu2019s not making these matching moves as quicklyu2014heu2019s already lost a couple of years, and it adds up in a fairly terrifying way.

n

Adam: So Ed was doing more job-hopping and getting a higher salaryu2014the data suggests that Ed is going to be richer, but less happy. Emily Bianchi has these studies that show people who graduate during economic recessions are happier with their jobs 20 years later because theyu2019re grateful to have jobs, and the people who graduate during a boom are like, u201cWow, I could have a much better job. My life is terrible.u201d So can you help us get both wealth and satisfaction?

n

Daniel: Um, nou2014I think thatu2019s actually a really good point. In a tighter job market where there are more opportunities and more hopping, you inevitably trigger social comparison, which corrodes our sense of well-being. If youu2019re in a situation where you are lucky to just have a job, you had the career equivalent of a near-death experience, and youu2019re grateful. Youu2019re satisfied with what you have.

n

I think thereu2019s a way to square the circle here, which is basically have the benefits of the economic success, but use other techniques to mitigate or dampen the social comparison aspect.

n

You actually offered up one [technique] to me when we were together [once]. Itu2019s basically, u201cDonu2019t compare yourself, because I donu2019t care how well you do, thereu2019s always someone whou2019s doing better.u201d So instead of comparing yourself to others, compare yourself to yourself five years ago. I think thatu2019s actually really healthy. That could be a decent way of saying, u201cHey, even though Joe Schmutz over there worked for a hedge fund and is now a gazillionaire, Iu2019m a lot better than I was five years ago. Iu2019m actually making a decent living and supporting my family.u201d

n

Also, focus on other virtues besides money. Focus on,u00a0u201cDo I have meaningful relationships? Do I have a sense of purpose?u201d

n

This article was originally published on Heleo.

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Research is telling us that we need to put more attention on the right work at the right time, because our cognitive abilities change throughout the day.

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After the long and painful process of job hunting, youu2019ve finally gotten an interview with the job of your dreams! Or maybe just a job, of a dream. Hey, whatu2019s important here is that you got an interview, and thatu2019s awesome!

n

Youu2019ve probably spent countless hours researching the company, picking out your interview outfit, and learning all about how to make a great first impression at the interview. But after all that work, youu2019re still nervous about looking confident.

n

Hereu2019s the deal:

n

While interviewers canu2019t exactly smell fear, there are a lot of things you can do that will either give away that youu2019re a nervous wreck, or show that youu2019re confident and perfect for the job.

n

Hereu2019s everything you need to know about how to look confident in an interview, even if youu2019re not:

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Use breathing techniques

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The key to exuding confidence is to show that youu2019re cool, calm, and collected. Breathing and mindfulness exercises are a great way to keep your cool and think with a clear head.

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While youu2019re waiting for your interviewer, focus on taking deep breaths, and maybe try counting them. This will give you the chance to refocus on your strengths and qualifications instead of how nervous you are.

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Plus, when you get super nervous and forget to breathe, it makes it even harder to speak and tell the interviewer all about how great you are. So do yourself a favor, and focus on your breathing.

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2. Don’t be fidgety

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Nervous fidgeting is a dead giveaway that youu2019re nervous or scared, so youu2019re going to have to really pay attention to your body language.

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During the interview, keep your hands together on the table or in your lap so they donu2019t start tapping, twirling your hair, or squirming in another awkward way. Make sure not to shake your legs or your feet.

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Oh, and leave the fidget spinners at home.

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3. Make eye contact

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If you canu2019t keep yourself from looking down, looking around, and just not looking the interviewer in the eyes, theyu2019ll know that youu2019re either super anxious, or you have something to hide.

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Even if youu2019re extremely nervous and absolutely unconfident, a great way to fake it is to keep steady, natural eye contact with your interviewer. Being engaged and present during an interview is a great way to show that youu2019re self-assured and confident in your qualifications.

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If you feel awkward staring someone in the eyes, or you canu2019t figure out how to look at both eyes at once, focus on the spot between their eyes.

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On the other hand, you donu2019t want to be creepy u2014 take natural breaks to look down at your resume every once in a while, just donu2019t spend the entire interview looking down.

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4. Try to make a connection with your interviewer

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Instead of just doing everything you can to impress them, try to make a genuine connection with your interviewer. You donu2019t have to form a deep, lifelong bond with your interviewer, just make sure to show them that youu2019re likeable and have great interpersonal skills.

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To connect with your interviewer, make some light small talk. Ask them questions about themselves, mention something about the job or the company, or just make a witty observation.

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Showing that youu2019re able to be friendly and personable during a time when youu2019re constantly being judged for every single thing you do is a great way to show that you have loads of self-confidence.

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5. Don’t be afraid of silences and don’t rush through your answers

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Itu2019s a natural habit to ramble and talk about nothing when weu2019re feeling nervous u2014 and once we get started, it can be hard to stop.

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Silences can be uncomfortable, especially when weu2019re trying to impress someone. Thatu2019s when we start to get into the danger zone. You donu2019t want to say anything off-topic or self-incriminating.

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A good way to avoid rambling is to speak slowly, instead of rushing to get your answers out. That way, you have time to focus on your answers. Itu2019s okay if thereu2019s a bit of a pause between your answer and the next question u2014 and itu2019s much better than a heap of embarrassing word vomit.

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6. Practice your answers beforehand

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This is a great way to soothe your interview jitters and have confidence seeping out of your pores. Preparing to answer the most common interview questions and having your answers ready will take the pressure off and help you to stay calm.

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Remember to focus your answers on your skills, experience, education, and personal qualities that will help you succeed in the position. Make sure to have stories and examples to show off how youu2019ve used your qualifications in the past. That way, youu2019ll not only have a great attitude, but youu2019ll be able to back it up.

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7. Have a positive attitude

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Speaking of attitudes, make sure you have a good one. Thinking positively about the interview and having a bright outlook will show on your face.

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Employers like people who have a positive outlook, and having a smile and an upbeat attitude will tell interviewers that youu2019re excited, youu2019re prepared, and most of all u2014 youu2019re confident.

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Remind yourself that you deserve to be there. If you werenu2019t worthy of an interview, you never would have been invited! Think about all of your awesome qualifications and pump yourself up for the interview.

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8. Give yourself a pep-talk

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“Hey you, youu2019re awesome and youu2019re gonna kick ass today!”

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Itu2019s easy to beat ourselves up over little things when weu2019re feeling stressed out. Instead of calling yourself a u201cbig olu2019 dummyu201d for feeling nervous, be nice to yourself!

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Before you go into the interview, tell yourself out loud all of the reasons why you deserve the job: You have all the right qualifications, youu2019re smart, and youu2019re a hard worker.

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Giving yourself this pep talk wonu2019t just give you that positive attitude weu2019ve been talking about, it will also help you sell yourself to employers u2014 and interviews are all about selling yourself as best as you can.

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9. Picture yourself succeeding

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This one might sound kind of silly, but actually imagining how successful youu2019re going to be at your interview can give a boost to your self esteem.

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Before you go into the interview, picture what a successful interview looks like: walking into the room with your head held high, shaking hands with the interviewer (no sweaty hands), and answering the questions confidently with the responses youu2019ve practiced.

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If you can see yourself being successful, it will make it easier for you to follow through and ease your interview anxiety.

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10. Acknowledge your anxiety instead of suppressing it

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Instead of trying to bury your nervousness deep down in your shoes, you should just acknowledge your anxious feelings and make peace with them.

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Say to yourself, u201cIu2019m feeling anxious for my interview, and thatu2019s okay! I will still be confident and successful.u201d

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It might sound crazy, but making peace with your anxiety instead of trying to overpower it will help you better understand your nervous feelings and deal with them more effectively.

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Are your pores oozing with confidence yet?

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We all get nervous before interviews. If the thought of interviewing for your dream job makes your stomach do backflips, youu2019re not alone.

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That doesnu2019t mean you should let your anxiety get the best of you! Even if youu2019re not feeling confident, itu2019s easy to fake it u2018til you make it.

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Just follow these tips and youu2019ll be sure to come off as confident, make a great impression on the interview, and land the job.

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This article was originally published on Zippia.

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phone interview tips to get you to the next round"},"content":{"rendered":"

Show me a person who likes phone interviews, and I’ll Venmo you a $20.

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Okay, not really (I don’t know your account name, so how could I?). But the point is: there’s nothing easy about getting on a call where you can’t see the other person’s facial expressions or physical cues, then trying to remind yourself to talk slowly, all while worrying about background noises u2014 I could go on. Unfortunately, phone interviewing is also where every job opportunity starts. So, how do you make them easier?

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Here are the best phone interview tips I’ve collected from professional recruiters and, of course, the internet.

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PHONE INTERVIEW TIP #1: UNDERSTAND WHO’S CALLING

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As soon as you hear from the person who will conduct your phone interview, do a quick LinkedIn search to figure out what their role is at the company. Most often, it’s going to be a member of the recruiting team, which means it won’t be your potential boss or the hiring manager.

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What that means: They’re going to want to ask you basic questions about your work history and tell you more about what the position entails. So, as you prepare your answers to potential job interview questions, you’ll likely avoid the more difficult interview questions that might come up in phase 2.

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Some Phone Interview Questions You Might Get:

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  • Tell me a little bit about your work history.
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  • Why are you looking to leave your current company?
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  • What is the biggest challenge you have seen at your current position and how did you overcome it?
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  • Describe a substantial win at your last position.
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  • What was your favorite/least favorite element of your last position?
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  • How can you contribute to our companyu2019s success?
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  • How well do you work by yourself, with a team?
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  • Why are you interested in coming to work for us?
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  • Why are you attracted to this specific position?
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  • What makes you the ideal candidate for this position?
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  • When can you come in for an in-person interview?
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  • (If you’re applying to a job in another city) Are you willing to relocate? If we don’t provide relocation assistance, are you still willing?
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  • What are your salary requirements?
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  • How far along are you in your search? Are you speaking to other companies?
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  • Tell me about [x] in your resume
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  • Where do you see yourself in five years?
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  • What questions do you have for me?
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This last question is arguably the most important question. Make sure to come prepared with knowledge of the company and a few thoughtful questions.

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PHONE INTERVIEW TIP #2: WRITE BACK ABOUT SCHEDULING ASAP u2013 AND SPELLCHECK!

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While it’s the phone prescreen that matters most, you still need to make a great impression in your email responding to the phone interview request. Make sure your reply is pristine and straightforward and that you get back in the same day, preferably within an hour or two. Also, double-check that the time you select is one that works with your schedule. (We’ve all double-booked before, especially when nervous.) And say thank you!

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PHONE INTERVIEW TIP #3: GO BACK TO THE JOB DESCRIPTION

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Once you know you’re a potential candidate, pull the original job description up and read it carefully. Look for keywords that keep popping up and the clear skills they’re after. These are the elements you should try to touch on when you talk to your interviewer. We recommend even jotting them down on scratch paper as you read. It will help your memory.
nBonus Tip: By the way, this is a good time to suggest that you start saving all the links to job descriptions you’ve applied for in an Excel file so you can keep track of them. This is a great shortcut for situations like these, but it’s also a smart approach to the job search process. You can set up columns for things like “Date to Follow Up” and “Next Steps”.

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PHONE INTERVIEW TIP #4: RESEARCH THE COMPANY ON LINKEDIN AND VIA THE COMPANY SITE

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So that you have a great answer to the potential question, “Why are you interested in coming to work for us?”

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PHONE INTERVIEW TIP #5: PREPARE YOUR SALARY REQUIREMENTS

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You should have a $5,000 range in mind. Prepare for it by researching via The Salary Project or one of the other great salary research tools out there. And keep it simple when asked. Just say, “I’m looking to make between $70,000 and $75,000.”

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PHONE INTERVIEW TIP #6: PLAN ON BEING SOMEWHERE QUIET

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That does not mean your car. Ideally, it’s not in an office next to a construction site either. Book a meeting room at work or make sure your dog’s out with the dog walker while you’re on the phone. Just keep it as mellow as possible.

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PHONE INTERVIEW TIP #7: USE HEADPHONES

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Plugging in headphones helps cut down on background noise and will help the interviewer hear you better if their service is spotty.

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PHONE INTERVIEW TIP #8: PULL UP YOUR RESUME AND LINKEDIN, PLUS THE JOB DESCRIPTION ON YOUR LAPTOP

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Why not? Unlike an in-person interview, you can have all those resources right in front of you to reference as you talk.

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PHONE INTERVIEW TIP #9: SLOW DOWN

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Most of us talk too fast when we’re in a stressful speaking situation. That’s especially true when you aren’t able to track the other person’s visual cues. So, remind yourself to slow down. The Cut also recommends that you print out a photo for your interviewer beforehand to ease the discomfort of the faceless experience. (We haven’t tried this but it sounds savvy.)

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PHONE INTERVIEW TIP #10: PREPARE SOME QUESTIONS TO ASK

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Again, these don’t have to be too complicated since it’s a prescreen. But you might want to ask when they’re looking for someone to start or what the hiring process will be like, including next steps (if they don’t provide you with this information).

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PHONE INTERVIEW TIP #11: WHEN YOU ANSWER, ANSWER PROFESSIONALLY

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You should say, “Hello, this is [your full name].” It makes it easy for them, but it’s also clear that you’re ready and waiting (and therefore prepared) for the interview. Here are the ideal opening remarks that will clearly convey you knew this phone interview was coming:

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You: Hello, this is [Your Name].

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Them: Hi, this is [Their Name] calling from [Company.]

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You: Hi [Their First Name], thank you again for taking the time to speak with me today.

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PHONE INTERVIEW TIP #12: LET THEM INTERRUPT YOU

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Again, according to The Cut, there’s an easy way to make sure you’re giving them the right answers. “If youu2019ve started to give a long answer and the interviewer tries to jump back in, then thereu2019s no point in trying to keep talking because theyu2019re probably not paying attention … Let them interrupt and see what they really want to get at, and maybe you can start that story again at a different point.u201d

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PHONE INTERVIEW TIP #13: WRITE A FOLLOW-UP THANK YOU EMAIL

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The Interview Thank You Rule (that’s an official term) is simple: every time you speak to someone new at a company during the job interview process, you should thank them for their time. So write a thank-you email to the recruiter and send it within a few hours of your phone interview.

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PHONE INTERVIEW TIP #14: DON’T BE AFRAID TO COMMUNICATE IF YOU NEED TO RESCHEDULE

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Obviously, it’s not ideal to ask for a change of interview time, so this is the last resort. But if you’re job searching, and it turns out that your boss wants you to attend a meeting during the pre-scheduled time, email the recruiter back. They understand that you’re juggling your search and your work, and they don’t want to make things uncomfortable for you.

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PHONE INTERVIEW TIP #15: ASK IF THEY HAVE MORE QUESTIONS FOR YOU

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Throughout the phone interview, you naturally answered and asked insightful questions. At the end of the phone call, your interviewer might ask you if you have any other questions. Respond in kind. Does the interview have any final questions for you? This lets the interviewer know that you are open to the challenge of more questions and that you are actively engaged in the interview process.

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Thisu00a0articleu00a0first appeared onu00a0Career Contessa.

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Unfortunately, a phone interview is where every job opportunity starts. So, how do you make them easier?

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primaryTagArticles: [{"id":61062,"date":"2019-01-05T04:20:23","date_gmt":"2019-01-05T09:20:23","guid":{"rendered":"/?p=61062"},"modified":"2019-01-02T16:20:39","modified_gmt":"2019-01-02T21:20:39","slug":"clean-up-your-cyber-hygiene-6-changes-to-make-in-the-new-year","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"/career-advice/clean-up-your-cyber-hygiene-6-changes-to-make-in-the-new-year/","title":{"rendered":"Clean up your cyber hygiene: 6 changes to make in the new year"},"content":{"rendered":"

Data breaches, widespread malware attacks and microtargeted personalized advertising were lowlights of digital life in 2018.

n

As technologies change, so does the advice security experts give for how to best stay safe. As 2019 begins, Iu2019ve pulled together a short list of suggestions for keeping your digital life secure and free of manipulative disinformation.

n

1. Set your boundaries and stick to them

n

As part of my research, Iu2019ve recently been speaking with a number of sex workers in Europe about their digital security and privacy. One consistent thing Iu2019ve heard from them is, u201cThe best way to stay safe is to set boundaries.u201d Decide u2013 on your own, and in advance u2013 what data youu2019re willing to share with apps and online services, and stick to those limits.

n

That way, when the latest new app asks you for a permission that oversteps what youu2019re willing to share, youu2019ll be more prepared to answer. Also set limits on the online discussions youu2019re willing to participate in; bow out when a discussion is hurting more than helping you. Itu2019s even useful to set boundaries for how much time youu2019re willing to spend on digital security u2013 which could be an endless task.

n

2. Burst your filter bubble

n

People who get their news primarily u2013 or exclusively u2013 from social media are subjecting themselves to the whims of the algorithms that decide what to display to each user.

n

Because of how these algorithms work, those people are likely to see articles only from news sources they already like and tend to agree with. This isolation from people with other views, and from evidence that might challenge particular perspectives, contributes to unprecedented levels of partisanship and disagreement in modern society.

n

Free online tools like AllSides and Purple Feed are some places that show news reports and social media posts from differing political perspectives, and identify information thatu2019s generally agreed upon across the political spectrum.

n

3. Manage your passwords

n

The biggest threat to password security is no longer the strength of your passwords but the fact that many people reuse the same passwords for all, or many, of their accounts. Researchers are busy designing notifications to tell you when one of these reused passwords has been leaked to the world, but itu2019s safer to use different passwords, especially for your most valuable accounts.

n

You can use password manager software. Or, use the original low-tech method, writing your passwords down on paper. Believe it or not, itu2019s much safer to write them down than reuse the same password everywhere. Of course, this is true only if youu2019re sure the people you live with or frequent visitors to your home wonu2019t try to get into your accounts.

n

4. Turn on multi-factor authentication

n

Adding an additional step for logging in to your most important social media, email and financial accounts can add lots of protection. Multi-factor authentication systems are best known for texting you a six-digit code to type in as part of your login process. While any multi-factor authentication is better than none, text messages can fairly easily be intercepted or spied on. An even safer route is to use a special code-generating app on your phone.

n

People who change phones or SIM cards often, or who want additional protection, might consider using a physical key that plugs into your computer to authorize a login. They can take a bit more time to set up initially, but then work much faster than most other methods.

n

5. Delete apps you donu2019t use

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Smartphone apps track where you are very closely, and share your location data with advertising and marketing companies.

n

Just carrying a phone in your pocket can give tracking companies clues to where you go and how long you stay, and technical details about your phone can offer clues to your identity.

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If you donu2019t use an app anymore, uninstall it from your phone. If you need it again, you can always reinstall it quickly u2013 but in the meantime, it wonu2019t be tracking you around the world and around the web.

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6. Keep the apps you do use up-to-date

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Software companies donu2019t always know about all the vulnerabilities in their programs u2013 and when they issue updates users donu2019t always know if theyu2019re fixing a major problem or something minor. The top piece of advice experts give is to keep your software up-to-date on your computers and your mobile devices.

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Having spent 2018 worrying about how hackers, corporate executives and hurried programmers might be trying to exploit your data and your cognitive and digital vulnerabilities, resolve to be more secure in 2019.

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Elissa Redmiles, Ph.D. Student in Computer Science, University of Maryland

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This article is republished from The Conversation under a Creative Commons license. Read the original article.

n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Having spent 2018 worrying about how people might be trying to exploit your data and your digital vulnerabilities, resolve to be more secure in 2019.

n","protected":false},"author":1132,"featured_media":61066,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"amp_status":""},"categories":[94,26703,97,26704],"tags":[1266,23447,7176,29025,23578,326,17342],"yst_prominent_words":[1331,22873,5634,429,4747,65556,65558,65557,17626,65554,10025,204,17672,1303,17881,10196,18379,706,9793,24703],"yoast":{"focuskw":"cyber","title":"","metadesc":"Having spent 2018 worrying about how people might be trying to exploit your cyber data and your digital vulnerabilities, resolve to be more secure in 2019.","linkdex":"77","metakeywords":"","meta-robots-noindex":"","meta-robots-nofollow":"","meta-robots-adv":"","canonical":"","redirect":"","opengraph-title":"","opengraph-description":"","opengraph-image":"/wp-content/uploads/cyber-security-online-data.jpg","twitter-title":"","twitter-description":"","twitter-image":""},"acf":{"publish_to_facebook_instant":true,"not_original_content":false,"related_tag":{"term_id":17342,"name":"Technology","slug":"technology","term_group":0,"term_taxonomy_id":17342,"taxonomy":"post_tag","description":"","parent":0,"count":319,"filter":"raw"}},"yoast_meta":{"title":"Clean up your cyber hygiene: 6 changes to make in the new year | Ladders"},"_links":{"self":[{"href":"/wp-json/wp/v2/posts/61062"}],"collection":[{"href":"/wp-json/wp/v2/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"/wp-json/wp/v2/types/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"/wp-json/wp/v2/users/1132"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"/wp-json/wp/v2/comments?post=61062"}],"version-history":[{"href":"/wp-json/wp/v2/posts/61062/revisions"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"/wp-json/wp/v2/media/61066"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"/wp-json/wp/v2/media?parent=61062"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"/wp-json/wp/v2/categories?post=61062"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"/wp-json/wp/v2/tags?post=61062"},{"taxonomy":"yst_prominent_words","embeddable":true,"href":"/wp-json/wp/v2/yst_prominent_words?post=61062"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https://api.w.org/{rel}","templated":true}]}},{"id":61094,"date":"2019-01-05T04:20:05","date_gmt":"2019-01-05T09:20:05","guid":{"rendered":"/?p=61094"},"modified":"2019-01-03T11:31:29","modified_gmt":"2019-01-03T16:31:29","slug":"9-ways-you-can-be-a-better-communicator-this-year","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"/career-advice/9-ways-you-can-be-a-better-communicator-this-year/","title":{"rendered":"9 ways you can be a better communicator this year"},"content":{"rendered":"

For many of us, 2018 was a doozy, but we here at Brit + Co are ready to hit refresh in 2019! Follow ouru00a0Hit Refreshu00a0series through January and February for new ideas, hacks, and skills that will help you achieve (and maintain!) those New Yearu2019s resolutions.

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Thinking about where to start withu00a0New Yearu2019s resolutionsu00a0can get pretty overwhelming. Should you focus on wellness, relationships, finances, work, hobbies? Sinceu00a0focusing on one thing at a timeu00a0can make the process of setting these yearly goals feel much more manageable, we suggest communication.

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You already know that communication is key u2014 clichu00e9, but true u2014 so you might as well work on making baby steps toward becoming a stronger, more confident communicator. Plus, improving those skills can seriously pay off in your relationships and your career.

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We reached out to lifestyle and communication experts to get their take on the best communication-related resolutions we all can be making in the new year. Read on for nine great suggestions.

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1. Communicate to understand, not to judge

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Asking good questions within a conversation does more than cultivate that comforting back-and-forth; it demonstrates that youu2019re genuinely interested in the other person. u201c

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Communication means listening deeply,u201d coach and founder of LoveQuestCoachingu00a0Lisa Concepcionu00a0says. u201cAsking questions with a spirit of curiosity tells the other person that their perspective is valid.u201d

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2. Pay attention to non-verbal communication

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Relationship therapist and dating coachu00a0Irina Baechleu00a0tells us that body language is a key element of cultivating positive communication, especially within romantic partnerships.

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u201cNon-verbal communication will tell you everything your partner wouldnu2019t say out loud,u201d she says. u201cIt can help you understand the complete message. Also, body language will boost your awareness of their reactions to what you say and do.u201d When youu2019re having a discussion, start tuning into non-verbal cues like crossed arms, leaning away, and eye contact.

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3. Ask for clarity

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Not 100 percent sure that youu2019re following what someone is saying? This year, donu2019t be afraid to ask them to clarify! This is especially important in more emotional conversations or when you find yourself feeling defensive.

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u201cThis may feel awkward at first, but you will find over time that we often create stories about what other people say and do, and in reality, it often has nothing to do with that,u201d positive psychology practitioner and life coachu00a0Kendra Daviesu00a0says. u201cWhen we give others the opportunity to clarify, we truly allow compassion and empathy.u201d

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4. Use u201cIu201d statements during tough conversations

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Youu2019re probably familiar with this communication rule of thumb u2014 when arguing with a friend, family member, or significant other, itu2019s best to use phrases that start with u201cIu201d than phrases that start with u201cyou.u201d All too often, though, weu2019re aware of these kinds of rules and donu2019t actually put them into practice.

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Marriage and family therapistu00a0Heidi McBainu00a0urges you to make this a resolution in the year ahead. If, for example, youu2019re feeling like your partner has been disengaged from you recently, resist the urge to say u201cYouu2019re ignoring me!u201d and instead go with u201cI feel like youu2019re not as engaged with me lately.u201d That change in wording can go a long way.

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5. Focus on listening

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Weu2019ve all been in the middle of conversations in which we struggle to truly listen to the other person. Maybe itu2019s because weu2019re distracted by other things going on in our lives, or perhaps weu2019re just so busy thinking about whatu00a0weu2019reu00a0going to say next that we arenu2019t actually tuning into whatu2019s being said in the moment. Letu2019s change that in the new year!

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u201cCommunications improve when we listen fully, looking to understand what the person is saying,u201d life coachu00a0Mary Connollyu00a0tells us. Listening to comprehend and not just to hear is key to being a good communicator.

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6. Create the right environment for difficult discussions

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In many cases, you know long before a conversation gets heated that the subject is going to cause tension. Get ahead of that tension by setting the scene. Clinical psychologist and life and relationship coachu00a0Alyssa Adamsu00a0recommends starting these tough conversations in a quiet place with limited distractions.

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Go a step further toward positivity by opening the interaction with a statement about what you most appreciate about the other person.

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7. Find the balance between honesty and kindness

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u201cI often find that people feel like if they are honest with what they want, then they are being mean,u201d licensed marriage and family therapistu00a0Irene Schreineru00a0says.

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Weu2019re all for speaking your mind bluntly when the situation calls for it, but weu2019re also here to challenge you to work on perfecting the delicate balance between being kind and being straightforward. It doesnu2019t have to be one or the other.

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8. Put your phone away

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Stashing your screen tops the list of recommended communication resolutions from goals coach Nadalie Bardo, the founder ofu00a0Itu2019s All You Boo. Cutting back on phone time can have benefits in many aspects of life, but communication is definitely one of them. When youu2019re trying to truly communicate with someone, itu2019s best to eliminate all distractions.

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9. Replay interactions in a positive light

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If you finish up a discussion with someone u2014 at work, at home, anywhere u2014 and arenu2019t happy with how it went, itu2019s easy to overthink the conversation and get stuck in all the negatives. Public speaking consultant and coachu00a0Maryna Shkvoretsu00a0recommends making a habit of changing your perspective in these situations.

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u201cMake a resolution to replay these interactions in your mind going exactly the way you wanted them to,u201d she says. u201cFirst of all, youu2019ll feel better about it. And youu2019d be amazed how often you can redeem yourself in a different situation, and it helps to have a clear vision of the interaction going the right way.u201d

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How do you plan to improve your communication skills and relationship this year? Tweet usu00a0@BritandCo.

n

This article first appeared onu00a0Brit + Co.

n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Lifestyle and communication experts share the best communication-related resolutions we all can be making in the new year.

n","protected":false},"author":796,"featured_media":61095,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"amp_status":""},"categories":[94,26703,95,97],"tags":[17402,20259,7176,29025,23578,17397,326,22773,17342],"yst_prominent_words":[6025,34759,19145,716,2101,65598,17503,65596,53626,65595,65593,18623,23616,39521,65594,23467,17720,65597,17378,23617],"yoast":{"focuskw":"communicator","title":"","metadesc":"We reached out to lifestyle and communication experts to get their take on the best communicator-related resolutions we all can be making in the new year.","linkdex":"75","metakeywords":"","meta-robots-noindex":"","meta-robots-nofollow":"","meta-robots-adv":"","canonical":"","redirect":"","opengraph-title":"","opengraph-description":"","opengraph-image":"/wp-content/uploads/conversation-talking-listening-coworker-women.jpg","twitter-title":"","twitter-description":"","twitter-image":""},"acf":{"publish_to_facebook_instant":true,"not_original_content":false,"related_tag":{"term_id":17402,"name":"Communication","slug":"communication","term_group":0,"term_taxonomy_id":17402,"taxonomy":"post_tag","description":"","parent":0,"count":467,"filter":"raw"}},"yoast_meta":{"title":"9 ways you can be a better communicator this year | Ladders"},"_links":{"self":[{"href":"/wp-json/wp/v2/posts/61094"}],"collection":[{"href":"/wp-json/wp/v2/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"/wp-json/wp/v2/types/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"/wp-json/wp/v2/users/796"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"/wp-json/wp/v2/comments?post=61094"}],"version-history":[{"href":"/wp-json/wp/v2/posts/61094/revisions"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"/wp-json/wp/v2/media/61095"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"/wp-json/wp/v2/media?parent=61094"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"/wp-json/wp/v2/categories?post=61094"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"/wp-json/wp/v2/tags?post=61094"},{"taxonomy":"yst_prominent_words","embeddable":true,"href":"/wp-json/wp/v2/yst_prominent_words?post=61094"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https://api.w.org/{rel}","templated":true}]}},{"id":61089,"date":"2019-01-05T04:15:59","date_gmt":"2019-01-05T09:15:59","guid":{"rendered":"/?p=61089"},"modified":"2019-01-03T11:15:25","modified_gmt":"2019-01-03T16:15:25","slug":"new-year-new-you-10-tips-for-becoming-a-better-employee","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"/career-advice/new-year-new-you-10-tips-for-becoming-a-better-employee/","title":{"rendered":"New year, new you: 10 tips for becoming a better employee"},"content":{"rendered":"

Whether youu2019ve made your career a new yearu2019s resolution, are starting a brand new job or just want the next 12 months to be the best they can be at work, aiming to be a better employee is always a good idea. Not only will it help you grow in your career, it could lead to a promotion, new experiences and an overall happier life. Make those 40-plus hours per week count with these tips and tricks to becoming a top-notch employee.

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1. Ask for more feedback.

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Feedback and communication is the key to improving yourself at work. If you arenu2019t already meeting with your boss or manager for a weekly or bi-weekly one-on-one meeting, schedule it ASAP. The 30 minutes that you get alone with them could be life-changing. Youu2019ll be able to ask questions in confidence, as well as get feedback for ways you can improve your workflow, communication style and more. Plus, these private meetings often lead to more candid conversations, so you might even learn more about the company and projects that youu2019re not apart of, which can help put things into context.

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2. Organize your work life.

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If youu2019re not already using au00a0to-do list to manage your time and worku00a0at the office, we highly suggest you start. It might amaze you how much more you can get done when your daily tasks are clearly outlined for you.

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Additionally, consider tidying up your desk. Someone once said u201ctidy desk, tidy mind,u201d and we couldnu2019t agree more. A cluttered workspace could lead tou00a0higher stress and lower productivity. Organize your area this year so you can show your boss youu2019ve got it all together. If it seems like youu2019re constantly losing papers and documents, they may not want to assign you to a new project.

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Lastly, being more organized at work can also lead to a more balanced life. Youu2019ll easily sweep through your to-do list by 5 p.m. and can head home for dinner with your SO or actually make it to book club on time. Those things are so important and can demonstrate to your boss and manager that youu2019ve got it all under control.

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3. Come in early.

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Someone once told us that itu2019s a good idea to be in the office before your boss. Regardless of that advice, itu2019s a good idea to get into the office early so that you can take your time getting yourself ready for the day ahead. Put your stuff down, grab a cup of coffee, review your to-do list and start every day in the right mindset. The office will surely be quiet so you wonu2019t get distracted or overwhelmed first thing in the morning. Again, your boss might just see this as a sign that youu2019re organized and in control.

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4. Give 110 percent at all times.

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Whatever it is that you do u2014 get coffee, take notes during the staff meeting, schedule appointments for your boss u2014 give 110 percent. If you can make the best cup of Joe, take the most spot-on notes or schedule every appointment flawlessly, your boss will surely see that you are a valuable asset to the team. They may allow you to take on more responsibilities.

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5. Take on a new responsibility.

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Once youu2019ve demonstrated to your boss that youu2019ve totally got your shit together, ask him if you can take on a new responsibility. If youu2019re not even sure what that could be, take a week or so to see where you could fill in the gaps. Is there a daily report that needs to be sent out to the team? Are you noticing that a project has completely been pushed aside and your other team members arenu2019t eager to get it back on track? Ask if you can take one of these tasks off your bossu2019s hands and take the lead. Theyu2019ll appreciate the help and youu2019ll have the opportunity to show your abilities.

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6. Network.

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Networking both in and out of the office is seriously important for your career. It can be toughu00a0making it to networking eventsu00a0at night or scheduling coffee dates with other team members when you feel swamped at work, but making time could make a huge difference. You could end upu00a0meeting a mentoru00a0who helps guide you through sticky work situations or maybe connect with a team member in another department. Both would surely impress your boss and help her see you as someone with a little extra to offer the team.

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7. Speak up.

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Whether itu2019s a new idea to make a process more efficient or you just want to ensure youu2019re given the credit you deserve for a project, donu2019t be afraid to speak up at work. Of course, thereu2019s always a time and a place for both of these, but in the right setting and in the right way, you could easily make a positive impression on your boss or another executive at the company. Impressions are important because they stay with people long after the workday has ended.

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8. Stay calm.

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Work can getu00a0stressful. Aim to be the employee that can stay cool as a cucumber in even the craziest of situations. Adopt a solution-based mindset and help solve the problem instead of idly sitting by as your team members and boss work to put out the fire. If you can be the calm and collected employee to help guide the situation in the right direction, youu2019ll easily make an impression on your boss as someone with true leadership potential.

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9. Read more.

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Books are great for so many reasons. Whether youu2019re looking tou00a0grow in your career,u00a0take control of your financesu00a0oru00a0become a better coworker, there are so many books that help you become a better employee. Youu2019ll show your boss that you have goals for yourself outside of what youu2019re doing at work. Bonus: Books are great (read: intelligent and fun) talking points so youu2019ll always be able to make small talk with even the highest executive at the company.

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10. Support others.

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If Lucy has a great idea that was clearly not heard in the boardroom, or someone continues to speak over your boss, speak up and support them. Reiterate your team membersu2019 ideas if you think theyu2019re good and ask others to repeat themselves while no one is speaking so theyu2019re heard. Itu2019s so important to support others in your office. Hopefully, theyu2019ll also support you by doing the same. Regardless, youu2019ll show your team player and can get behind great ideas that arenu2019t only your own. You work at a company,u00a0so be an active member of that group u2014 we bet youu2019ll enjoy working there so much more if you do.

n

What else have you done to grow in your career? Tell us by joining ouru00a0exclusive LinkedIn Group!

n

n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

Make those 40-plus hours per week count with these tips and tricks to becoming a top-notch employee.

n","protected":false},"author":817,"featured_media":61090,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"amp_status":""},"categories":[94,26703,95,97],"tags":[32673,23480,18268,20259,59490,73,7176,29025,46154,23578,1867,326],"yst_prominent_words":[65590,17377,136,674,65587,65589,65585,17360,65586,18496,162,65588,65591,255,32580,17414,3444,17443,6845,17378],"yoast":{"focuskw":"better employee","title":"","metadesc":"Make those 40-plus hours per week count with these tips and tricks to becoming a top-notch, better employee at your company.","linkdex":"79","metakeywords":"","meta-robots-noindex":"","meta-robots-nofollow":"","meta-robots-adv":"","canonical":"","redirect":"","opengraph-title":"","opengraph-description":"","opengraph-image":"/wp-content/uploads/books-break-coffee-man-working.jpg","twitter-title":"","twitter-description":"","twitter-image":""},"acf":{"publish_to_facebook_instant":true,"not_original_content":false,"related_tag":{"term_id":1867,"name":"Office Life","slug":"office-life","term_group":0,"term_taxonomy_id":1867,"taxonomy":"post_tag","description":"","parent":0,"count":1626,"filter":"raw"}},"yoast_meta":{"title":"New year, new you: 10 tips for becoming a better employee | Ladders"},"_links":{"self":[{"href":"/wp-json/wp/v2/posts/61089"}],"collection":[{"href":"/wp-json/wp/v2/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"/wp-json/wp/v2/types/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"/wp-json/wp/v2/users/817"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"/wp-json/wp/v2/comments?post=61089"}],"version-history":[{"href":"/wp-json/wp/v2/posts/61089/revisions"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"/wp-json/wp/v2/media/61090"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"/wp-json/wp/v2/media?parent=61089"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"/wp-json/wp/v2/categories?post=61089"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"/wp-json/wp/v2/tags?post=61089"},{"taxonomy":"yst_prominent_words","embeddable":true,"href":"/wp-json/wp/v2/yst_prominent_words?post=61089"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https://api.w.org/{rel}","templated":true}]}},{"id":61098,"date":"2019-01-05T04:10:25","date_gmt":"2019-01-05T09:10:25","guid":{"rendered":"/?p=61098"},"modified":"2019-01-03T12:05:10","modified_gmt":"2019-01-03T17:05:10","slug":"how-to-win-the-emotional-battle-of-procrastination","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"/career-advice/how-to-win-the-emotional-battle-of-procrastination/","title":{"rendered":"How to win the emotional battle of procrastination"},"content":{"rendered":"

Procrastination is the absence of progress.

n

Everyone makes New Yearu2019s resolutions. But only 8% of will succeed. The rest will get caught in the gap between intention and action.

n

Procrastination is the illusion of a quick-win u2014 you compromise long-term success for short-term pleasure. If you are reading this, you probably spend too much time daydreaming u2014 you fail to launch.

n

Most people canu2019t overcome procrastination because they treat it as a productivity problem u2014 they forget the real battleground is in your mind, not your calendar.

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Procrastination has nothing to do with time-management. As Joseph Ferrari, a professor of psychology at DePaul University explains, u201cTo tell the chronic procrastinator to just do it would be like saying to a clinically depressed person, cheer up.u201d

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What if you approach procrastination as an emotional battle rather than a productivity one?

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Why we fail to launch

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We all procrastinate u2014 we voluntary delay doing activities we want despite the negative consequences. But not everyone suffers from it.

n

Approximately 80% of students and 25% of adults admit to being chronic procrastinators, according to research u2014 and itu2019s getting worse.

n

Procrastination is a self-inflicted wound u2014 we feel good now at the expense of long-term goals. It has nothing to do with being lazy or having a personality problem u2014 we just canu2019t win the emotional battle in our mind.

n

During times of stress, procrastination kicks in as an effortless coping mechanism. However, itu2019s anything but harmless.

n

As Tim Pychyl, the author of Solving the Procrastination Puzzle, explains: u201cWe have a brain that is selected for preferring immediate reward. Procrastination is the present-self saying I would rather feel good now. So we delay engagement even though itu2019s going to bite us on the butt.u201d

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According to research by DePaul University, we procrastinate when our brains become overwhelmed with conflicting emotions. Our feelings take over.

n

    n

  • Fear of failure: we worry the outcome wonu2019t be perfect.
  • n

  • Impulsiveness: we get distracted by sexier activities that pop up while we are about to launch.
  • n

  • Denial: we donu2019t like doing certain things, so we erase them from our mind.
  • n

  • Rebelliousness: when we feel forced to do something, we just fight back and resist.
  • n

n

Several studies have shown that negative emotions promote procrastination. People avoid doing things more when they are sad or upset u2014 the pleasantness of any distraction helps regulate our feelings.

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Procrastination means we fail to manage our emotions, not our time.

n

Procrastination is a vicious cycle

n

u201cOnly put off until tomorrow what you are willing to die having left undone.u201d u2014 Pablo Picasso

n

The more you fail to launch, the more difficult it becomes to start something new. Continuous postponing doing something creates a vicious cycle.

n

One of the first studies about the harmful nature of procrastination tracked academic performance, stress, and overall health among college students throughout a semester. Originally, the procrastinators showed a lower level of stress. At the end of the research, not only their became more stressful but earned lower grades. True procrastinators didnu2019t just finish their work later u2014 the quality of it suffered.

n

u201cThus, despite its apologists and its short-term benefits, procrastination cannot be regarded as either adaptive or innocuous,u201d concluded the study authors.

n

Failing to cope with our emotions cause us more harm u2014 the stress of starting something is nothing compared to the aftermath of avoiding a task.

n

A study by Harvard University showed that, when people are daydreaming about something pleasant, it only makes them as happy as when they are on task. The rest of the time, mind-wandering makes people less happy than when they are on the job.

n

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The emotional battle affects our relationship with doing. We donu2019t just procrastinate what we like but even the things we love. The vicious cycle makes us hate doing anything.

n

We must reframe our emotional connection with work. That requires shifting our inner-dialogue from u201chave tou201d to u201cwant to.u201d

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Procrastination is an emotional battle

n

u201cThe chronic procrastinator, the person who does this as a lifestyle, would rather have other people think that they lack effort than lacking ability.u201d u2014 Joseph Ferrari

n

We all experience negative and positive emotions each day. Guilt, self-blame, frustration, sadness, or self-pity can make us feel overwhelmed. Emotion Regulation is a term coined to describe our ability to cope with our emotional experience u2014 some strategies are healthier than others.

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Research makes it clear that procrastination is a problem with emotional regulation u2014 instead of dealing with our feelings, we avoid doing a task because of how we feel. This turns into a self-defeating strategy. Our emotions wonu2019t run away u2014 we just add more stress as we watch our to-do list piling up.

n

u201cEmotional regulation, to me, is the real story around procrastination, because to the extent that I can deal with my emotions, I can stay on task,u201d says Pychyl.

n

Avoidance acts as a short-term mood fix. We escape facing our fears, anxiety, or frustrations, but then feel worse with ourselves. Deep inside, we know procrastination is not an accident, but a personal choice.

n

So, how can we overcome this emotional tension?

n

Start by treating yourself kindly u2014 playing the blame game doesnu2019t help.

n

To win the mental battle, we must apply emotion-focused strategies. Self-appreciation builds a stronger foundation to help us grow and overcome our flaws.

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Unforgiveness gets us stuck in continuous rumination. A study conducted by Tim Pychyl showed that students who forgave themselves after procrastinating on the first exam were less likely to delay studying for the second one. Those who couldnu2019t forget themselves failed to study again.

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Self-forgiveness is a powerful remedy for procrastination.

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Donu2019t run against the wind

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Self-awareness is essential to win the emotional battle in your head.

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Start by facing the enemy rather than by being harsh on yourself u2014 stress fuels procrastination. Ask yourself: u201cWhy am I avoiding doing something? Why do I hate this task?u201d

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Fighting your emotions is like running against the wind.

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Being aware of what you are thinking u2014 u2018meta-awarenessu2019 u2014 will help you develop a reflective approach to procrastination. Instead of avoiding or amplifying your emotions, try to understand them.

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Systematic training of Emotional Regulation u2014 to tolerate and modify aversive emotions u2014 can help you reduce procrastination. Developing ER skills includes:

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  • Becoming aware of your emotions
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  • Identifying and taming your emotions
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  • Understanding what triggers those feelings
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  • Acknowledging negative emotions and turning them into positive ones
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  • Supporting yourself
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Practicing mindfulness throughout the day, journaling, daily gratitude, breathing exercises, or meditation can help you increase self-awareness. The key is to pause and reflect on what emotions are getting on your way.

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How do you feel? Are you procrastinating because you are afraid of failing or because you are under external pressure? Whatu2019s holding you back?

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Increasing self-awareness takes time. We spent years perfecting our procrastinating act u2014 now we must undo it. Be patient.

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Launch now

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u201cYou donu2019t have to be great to get started but you have to get started to be great.u201du00a0 u2015 Les Brown

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Procrastination is an emotion-management problem u2014 you must reframe how you engage with your feelings. Experts are confident that learning to regulate your emotions can help procrastinators overcome avoidance.

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Fuschia Sirois from Bishopu2019s University believes the best way to rebuild that relationship is to find something worthwhile in the activity or task.

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u201cYouu2019ve got to dig a little deeper and find some personal meaning in that task,u201d the psychologist recommends. u201cThatu2019s what our data is suggesting.u201d

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Self-awareness is key, but too much introspection can get you stuck. Jump into action u2014 procrastinators find it difficult to take the first step.

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The best way to overcome procrastination is to launch now.

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Open that book. Write that first word. Dial that number. Ask the first question. Start practicing.

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Cross the line. Chop up tasks into smaller ones. Create internal deadlines. Own your priorities. Start with what you hate. Or what you love. Mix up things. Build momentum.

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Facing your emotions is key to jump into action. Go fight the battle in your mind.

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Gustavo Razzetti is a change instigator that helps organizations lead positive change. Author, Consultant, and Speaker on team development and cultural transformation.

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This article first appeared on Medium.

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Manage your emotions, not your time. The best way to overcome procrastination is to launch now.

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We all deal with fear of rejection. Jia Jiang did too. But he overcame itu2026 thanks to a box of donuts.

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He explains how this happened in his wonderful book,u00a0Rejection Proof: How I Beat Fear and Became Invincible Through 100 Days of Rejection.

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His dream was to be an entrepreneur u2014 and that means a lot of rejection. So how could heu00a0beat the fear?

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Byu00a0turning it into au00a0game. For 100 days he madeu00a0ridiculous requests of strangers, expecting to get rejected.

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And get rejected he did. A lot. But he also got a number of unexpected u201cyesu201d responses as well:

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  • Knocking on a strangeru2019s door, ball in hand, he asked u201cCan I play soccer in your backyard?u201d The response? u201cCome on in.u201d
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  • He asked a policeman if he could drive his car. The answer? u201cDo it.u201d
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  • And when he asked workers at Krispy Kreme if theyu2019d make him donuts shaped like the Olympic Rings, theyu00a0did. For free.
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Hereu2019s hisu00a0TEDx talk.

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Pretty cool story, huh? I know; youu2019re not going to run around looking for rejection.

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But by studyingu00a0Jiau2019s experimentu00a0and the science behind rejection, what can we learn to help us overcome our fears, cope with the inevitable u201cNOu201d responses and get what we want in life?

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A lot, actually. Letu2019s get to it.

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(Please donu2019t stop reading now. Iu2019ll feel rejected.)

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Yes, rejection is *very* powerful

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So letu2019s say you tried tou00a0join the KKK.u00a0But they rejected you. Who cares, right? Theyu2019re a group of ignorant racists.

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Actually, theu00a0researchu00a0says you mightu00a0stillu00a0feel bad:

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u2026 ostracism by despised outgroup members was no less aversive than ostracism by rival outgroup or ingroup members.

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Crazy, huh?u00a0Rejection is so powerful it temporarilyu00a0makes you stupid:

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Rejection can dramatically reduce a personu2019s IQ and their ability to reason analytically, while increasing their aggression, according to new research.u00a0u201cThese are very big effects u2013 the biggest Iu2019ve got in 25 years of research,u201d says Baumeister. u201cThis tells us a lot about human nature. People really seem designed to get along with others, and when youu2019re excluded, this has significant effects.u201d

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How can rejection be so powerful that youu00a0feel it even when youu2019re rejectedu00a0by a group you donu2019t even like?

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Studies show your brain doesnu2019t distinguish between physical pain and emotional pain. To your mind,u00a0heartache and a heart attacku00a0arenu2019t all that different:

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In a new study using functional magnetic resonance imaging (fMRI), researchers have found that the same brain networks that are activated when youu2019re burned by hot coffee also light up when you think about a lover who has spurned you.u00a0In other words, the brain doesnu2019t appear to firmly distinguish between physical pain and intense emotional pain.

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In fact, taking Tylenol canu00a0ease social painu00a0just like it does physical pain. To your brain, theyu2019re the same.

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Thereu2019s a lot youu00a0can do tou00a0make people like you more.u00a0But youu00a0can never fully escape rejection. And the more youu00a0try to hide from it, the more youu00a0shrink your world, and the less chance youu00a0have of achieving your dreams.

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(To learn how to get people to like you, clicku00a0here.)

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Sou00a0how should youu00a0approach situations where youu00a0might be rejected? What will make youu00a0more likely to succeed and less likely to feel that terrible pain?

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Jia was on to something. And the answer is more fun than you think.

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Make it a game

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Most of the platitudes people tell youu00a0about dealing with rejection arenu2019t helpful:

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u201cIgnore it. Whyu00a0do you care what they think, anyway?u201d

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But feeling rejected is so emotional and fundamental, itu2019s very hard tou00a0dismiss it rationally.

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Or they tell you to u201cface your fears.u201du00a0Research shows that works. But, hey, thatu2019su00a0scary.

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So whatu00a0can you do?u00a0What Jia did.u00a0He made it a game.

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Reframing things playfully with humor is no small thing. It kills stress.

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Viau00a0Nerve: Poise Under Pressure, Serenity Under Stress, and the Brave New Science of Fear and Cool:

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In tense moments, explains the clinical psychologist Rod Martin u2026 joking actually reformats your perception of a stressor. u201cHumor is about playing with ideas and concepts,u201d said Martin, who teaches at the University of Western Ontario. u201cSo whenever we see something as funny; weu2019re looking at it from a different perspective. When people are trapped in a stressful situation and feeling overwhelmed, theyu2019re stuck in one way of thinking:u00a0This is terrible. Iu2019ve got to get out of here.u00a0But if you can take a humorous perspective, then by definition youu2019re looking at it differently u2014 youu2019re breaking out of that rigid mind-set.u201d

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When I spoke to au00a0Navy SEAL, anu00a0Army Rangeru00a0and au00a0Special Forces instructor, theyu00a0allu00a0said that seeing things as a game was key to getting through their arduous training.

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Joe Simpsonu00a0shattered his leg while descending a mountain. He should have been a dead man. How did he keep going when anyone in their right mind would have just given up and died? He made it a game.

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Viau00a0Deep Survival: Who Lives, Who Dies, and Why:

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Simpson was learning what it means to be playful in such circumstances: u201cA pattern of movements developed after my initial wobbly hops and I meticulously repeated the pattern. Each pattern made up one step across the slope and I began to feel detached from everything around me. I thought of nothing but the patterns.u201d His struggle had become a dance, and the dance freed him from the terror of what he had to do.

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Reframing stress as a challenge is one of theu00a0things Harvard researcher Shawn Achor saidu00a0leads to success.

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And instead of seeing rejection as a form of social death, Jia saw it as a game he was playing. And it became fun.

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When he heard u201cnou201d, he didnu2019t feel like a loser. Eventually, he felt the way you might after losing at a video game: shrug and try again.

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But what was so inspiring wereu00a0the times when peopleu00a0joinedu00a0his game. The workers at Krispy Kreme had fun playing,u00a0too.

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(For more tips from a Navy SEAL on how to deal with the toughest challenges, clicku00a0here.)

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Okay, so youu00a0know how to look at situations where rejection is a possibility. But how do youu00a0cope with rejection when it happens? It starts with TV and teddy bears u2026

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Take comfort in friends

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When you look at lots of scientific research, you find some crazy stuff. And exploring rejection, well, thatu2019s what happened to me.

n

What helps youu00a0deal with rejection? Um u2026u00a0thinking about your favorite TV shows:

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Study 3 demonstrated that thinking about favored (but not non-favored) television programs buffers against drops in self-esteem and mood and against increases in feelings of rejection commonly elicited by threats to close relationships.

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What else? Hugging au00a0teddy bear:

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Overall, the findings suggest that touching a teddy bear mitigates the negative effects of social exclusion to increase prosocial behavior.

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Crazy, right? But before you lose your faith in science, letu2019s look at the broader pattern and see where it pointsu2026

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The answer seemsu00a0to be relationships. Family, friends u2014 even teddy bears u2014 relieveu00a0pain. And as we saw, the brain doesnu2019t distinguish between the physical and emotional types. So rejection fits in here, too.

n

I know what youu2019re thinking:u00a0what does my favorite TV show have to do with relationships?

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TV is a u201csocial surrogateu201d u2014 your favorite TV shows give you the same feeling of belonging thatu00a0relationships do:

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These results yield provocative preliminary evidence for the Social Surrogacy Hypothesis. Thinking about valued television programs appears to yield the experience of belongingness.

n

Itu2019s hard to underestimate the importance of relationships. When you look at the research, what yes/no question can likely predict whether you will be alive and happy at age 80?

n

u201cIs there someone in your life whom you would feel comfortable phoning at four in the morning to tell your troubles to?u201d

n

University of Pennsylvania happiness expert Martin Seligmanu00a0explains:

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Is there someone in your life whom you would feel comfortable phoning at four in the morning to tell your troubles to? If your answer is yes, you will likely live longer than someone whose answer is no. For George Vaillant, the Harvard psychiatrist who discovered this fact, the master strength is the capacity to be loved.u00a0Conversely, as the social neuroscientist John Cacioppo has argued, loneliness is such a disabling condition that it compels the belief that the pursuit of relationships is a rock-bottom fundamental to human well-being.

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And Jia had that too. He didnu2019t start his rejection-conquering journey on his own. His incredibly supportive wife told him to quit his job and pursue his passion. (And she was pregnant with their first child when she suggestedu00a0it.)

n

When youu00a0face rejection u2014 or any pain for that matter u2014 the answer is to turn to those whou00a0dou00a0accept youu00a0and love you. They are the closest thing to a cure.

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(For more on the science of how to make great friendships, clicku00a0here.)

n

Sou00a0we know how to approach possible rejection and how to deal with it when it happens. Letu2019s round this up and learn what steps to take next.

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Sum up

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Jia and the research have two big insights:

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  • Treat situations where we might be rejected as a game.u00a0Itu2019s not life-or-death. Reframe stress as a challenge.
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  • The cure for rejection is those who love us.u00a0You need acceptance. When you donu2019t get it, it hurts. So turn to where youu00a0know youu00a0will find it: the people who already love you.
  • n

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By making rejection a game, you can try newu00a0things without fear. You can strive without worry.

n

And what youu2019ll find is what Jia found: people are often more receptive than you think.u00a0Research showsu00a0we underestimate how much others are willing to help us.

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Studiesu00a0demonstrate that the old saying is accurate:u00a0youu00a0regret most the things you did not do.

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With loved ones around us, rejection doesnu2019t hurt for very long. Regret, on the other hand, can last a lifetime.

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So make it a game. How elseu00a0can you end upu00a0a winner?

n

Join over 320,000 readers.u00a0Get a free weekly update via emailu00a0here.

n

Thisu00a0articleu00a0first appeared onu00a0BarkingUpTheWrongTree.

n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"

With loved ones around us, rejection doesnu2019t hurt for very long. Regret, on the other hand, can last a lifetime. So make it a game.

n","protected":false},"author":255,"featured_media":61081,"comment_status":"closed","ping_status":"closed","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"amp_status":""},"categories":[94,26703,97,28464],"tags":[1266,73,7176,17347,29025,326,28126,9493,2082],"yst_prominent_words":[65581,65078,61721,65579,65577,19131,55867,22997,14154,17529,27454,997,1419,65578,65583,65584,65582,49659,65580,65082],"yoast":{"focuskw":"rejection","title":"","metadesc":"With loved ones around us, rejection doesnu2019t hurt for very long. Regret, on the other hand, can last a lifetime. So make it a game.","linkdex":"76","metakeywords":"","meta-robots-noindex":"","meta-robots-nofollow":"","meta-robots-adv":"","canonical":"","redirect":"","opengraph-title":"","opengraph-description":"","opengraph-image":"/wp-content/uploads/sleep-teddy-bear-bed-woman.jpg","twitter-title":"","twitter-description":"","twitter-image":""},"acf":{"publish_to_facebook_instant":true,"not_original_content":false,"related_tag":{"term_id":7176,"name":"Inspiration","slug":"inspiration","term_group":0,"term_taxonomy_id":7176,"taxonomy":"post_tag","description":"","parent":0,"count":753,"filter":"raw"}},"yoast_meta":{"title":"Fear of rejection: 2 ways to beat it, backed by research | Ladders"},"_links":{"self":[{"href":"/wp-json/wp/v2/posts/61080"}],"collection":[{"href":"/wp-json/wp/v2/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"/wp-json/wp/v2/types/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"/wp-json/wp/v2/users/255"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"/wp-json/wp/v2/comments?post=61080"}],"version-history":[{"href":"/wp-json/wp/v2/posts/61080/revisions"}],"wp:featuredmedia":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"/wp-json/wp/v2/media/61081"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"/wp-json/wp/v2/media?parent=61080"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"/wp-json/wp/v2/categories?post=61080"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"/wp-json/wp/v2/tags?post=61080"},{"taxonomy":"yst_prominent_words","embeddable":true,"href":"/wp-json/wp/v2/yst_prominent_words?post=61080"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https://api.w.org/{rel}","templated":true}]}}]
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